November 19, 2009

I wouldn’t have said that I believe in ghosts per se.

Naturally when I read ghost stories I would feel the same nervous feelings as most, I would dismiss the stories I heard from friends with a flippant half-interest meant to mask my fascination with these things that, apparently, happened without any explanation.

And of course I didn’t think twice about moving into Roslyn Manor even though everyone told me it was haunted.

I’ve been living in my suite for almost eight months and have always felt safe there; it’s small and cozy and comfortable and more than one person has commented on how homey it feels. Of course sometimes I make myself jump or creep myself out a little bit but I never thought anything of it, I’ve always written it off as being in my head.

Except last night I was lying in bed on my left side, facing the wall, trying to fall asleep. I had my arms up near my chest and was beginning to doze off when I felt movement behind me and the sensation that someone had their arms around me, holding my wrists in their hands with their chest against my back.

At first I thought it was Ty, I lay there with my eyes closed as I was pulled backwards, like when someone squeezes you from behind while you’re spooning, drawing you against them. I could distinctly feel a persons’ chest against my back.

Then the hands around my wrists started to squeeze and the pressure began to tighten and I began to lose feeling in my hands, I was being pulled backwards with my hands being drawn against myself and I opened my eyes in the darkness and said “Ty… Ty… Ty…” to get his attention, and then I realized that he didn’t stay over last night.

I was alone in my apartment.

I began to feel afraid and I closed my eyes and said out loud “you’re scaring me”.

And the hands let go, the pressure stopped.

There was nothing behind me in the bed anymore; I could feel on my skin where the hands were and the faint, receding pressure on my back as though I’d been leaning against something, but it was gone.

And oddly enough, once the feeling came back into my hands and my heart stopped pounding… I felt safe.

I know this sounds crazy, I know it sounds like nonsense or a nightmare but I was completely and totally awake as this happened.

I’ve had Sleep Paralysis, as I mentioned a few posts ago, and this wasn’t the same thing.
Those were nightmares and the pressure on my body was different, that felt more like being too heavy to move, every part of me being weighed down. This was pressure in a different way, I felt something holding me, and only on my wrists and on my back.

And most importantly, I wasn’t frightened. At least not until I realized that it wasn’t Ty, and afterward I felt safer than I did before, whereas with Sleep Paralysis I would be terrified and on the verge of tears, not wanting to go back to sleep because I was scared it would happen again.

I fell asleep immediately after this happened, I dreamt as usual and oddly enough even though I only got about five hours’ sleep I feel extremely well-rested.

Look.

I’m not saying it’s a ghost.

I’m not.

But I don’t know what the fuck that was.