spider saga

the windows in our old apartment are the kind with dark wooden trim and that slide up, not sideways. so last week I was cleaning the living room and noticed a huge spider living on top of one of the window panes (this part here):


so I bashed at it with a magazine and thought maybe I'd killed it but it was obviously either dead or hiding in the space between the window and the wood trim because the air conditioner was in there at the time. whatever, I go on cleaning, right?


well Sunday I was on the phone with my mom and standing in the living room looking (spying) out the window and I noticed this... thing, in the drapes. at first it looks like mould (gross) but I realize that it's a fucking sack of baby spiders. OHMYGOD.

since I freak out at stuff like this I made Tyrone deal with it and... oh god... he told me that when he grabbed pulled it off the curtain it left a damp spot and it squished in his hand can you imagine if I had somehow not noticed and they had hatched???

oh god I am actually grossing myself out right now why am I sharing this?

but it gets better (worse)

last week we had some people over and Tyrone had taken the air conditioner out of the window because it's too cold to use it anymore and I made him stash it in the bedroom while we had people over because I didn't want a huge air conditioner sitting in the middle of the living room while we had people over, so it's been in the bedroom since we haven't had time to rearrange our storage room and make space for it.

so.

last night I'm getting ready for bed and have have two comforters, a red one and a black one, and I'm looking at the black one and see this weird thing on it. so I put my face real close because I figure it's a weird fluff or something and ITS A SPIDER INCHES FROM MY FACE! naturally I scream and I realize that this horrible gargantuan thing is the spider I didn't kill the other week and it's been hiding out in the air conditioner this whole time and can you imagine if I had gotten into bed and it was there???

I swear this thing was at least the size of a quarter and Tyrone will back me up on it. I am so anxious and creeped out just thinking about this whole thing euuuuuugh.

anyway I've been trying to forget about the whole ordeal (it was on my bed, seriously, I'm freaked out) and then I see this gem on Reddit and it all comes back to me:

I have seriously had it up to here with spiders for the time being. I get that they're crucial to the environment but I wish they could be crucial to the environment somewhere that isn't the place that I live.

I'm a super-clean person I swear and this whole ordeal just has me freaked right out, I think if I have another Spider Encounter I will just loose my mind.