Leave the bourbon on the shelf
I definitely can't skate and I have a feeling that's why I'm so fascinated with people who can, in particular people who do it for a living and actually compete by sliding around on little blades and even do flips and spins and can stop without having to slam into something or fall down like I have to do.
Because of this, one of the few things I like about the Olympics is getting to watch all the gay men and petite ladies gettin' their balance on.
And I sure do like watching totally ridic, PETA-upsetting over-the-top Johnny Weir.
He may have skated to Lady Gaga earlier this year
(which you know totes wins my heart)
but his Olympic performance is definitely my fave hands-down.
For patriotic reasons I can't root for the US but... seriously.
Wow.
Shame he only got 5th.
