October 21, 2009

Most of the time I'm really happy.

I have amazing friends, the best ever.
My apartment is cute and charming.
I'm excelling in my classes.
My income is good.

And when people ask me why I don't have a boyfriend
(because I guess that's supposed to complete my life?)
I just shrug and move on.
To be honest, it really doesn't bother me.

Life is fulfilling and I'm usually happy.

But I'm not right now.

It's not because of boys
it's not work
not school
or my skyrocketing rent.

It's because I can't help my friend.

It's hard being good friends with both sides of something
when one comes to you it's impossible to help them without hurting the other
and then what?

Lose one?
Lose both?

I don't want to.

So I have to keep my mouth shut and watch
like a car crash in slow-motion
unable to find a way to help
to reach out and catch them both.

I wish there was.