November 12, 2012

it involves blood and vaginas (mine) so stop reading here if that squiks you out.

basically I was having a dream in my dream (dreamception) about something, Archer, maybe, and in the dream-within-a-dream I was pushing something out of me. you know like when sometimes you're dreaming and you have to pee so in your dream you feel like you have to pee? like that, kinda. except in my dream-within-a-dream I was pushing something out of my vag and when I 'woke up' (in the dream) there was blood all over the bed and it was very, very real.

so still in the dream I get up and I'm covered with blood and it's dripping everywhere. on the bed, sheets, carpet, and I go to reach for the doorknob and my hands are all covered in dripping blood and I'm thinking omg did I have a miscarriage or something wtf is going on and my mom opens the door and starts screaming at me because I bled all over her nice, pink sheets.

I think the dream went somewhere else after that but that's the part I remember and it scared me. it still is scaring me. not because I'm afraid of having a miscarriage (birth control ftw) or because I'm afraid of upsetting my mom (old news) but something about the whole scenario really frightened me. also vaginal bleeding. ew.

I keep thinking about it and how real it was and I want to get it out of my head, except I've been doing schoolwork all afternoon and randomly in-between writing my paper proposal and working on my keynote presentation it'll randomly pop back into my head and freak me out.

so I decided to write about it here.

you're welcome.