December 18, 2012

the holidays are the best time because that's when we do our holiday baking

yr girl doesn't bake because it's expensive and time-consuming and generally I'd rather have a salad

but once a year tyrone and I pull out all the stops and make ridic bakes goodness for our nearest 'n dearest

because why the eff not? it's christmas after all.

the best/worst part about this endeavour is licking spatulas and sneaking chocolate chips

and this year

having some of the home-made marshmallow goodness that's serving as filling for some epic chocolate & bacon & peanut butter moon pies

(omg I know)

except I must be getting on in years because after two small licks of marshmallow off the spoon I had a stomach ache and my head hurt and my body suddenly felt way heavier

like I'd just mixed together a small child

and eaten it.

this if scary and confusing to me because I used to have such a sweet tooth

back when I was a wee lass

but now I can't even go into the kitchen and look in the direction of all the

moon pies and cream cheese and icing and sugar and bacon and omg

without getting a queasy feeling deep in my insides saying

that ish is gonna clog up yr veins, girl. stahp.

so I do and it's weird.

I must have transported myself to some weird alternate universe

where I don't want to eat sweets

and people kick dj shadow offstage at his own show

because they

like my stomach

don't know a good thing when they get it.