January 2, 2013

while a new year is as good a time as any to make changes picking NYE to make big decisions about changing yr life doesn't seem like a real milestone or reason to stfu and start making changes.

a few months ago I realized that I had issues with control and negativity. I'm a pessimist by nature and I get stressed out easily and tend to not make time to appreciate the people in my life and the good ish I've been lucky to receive.

I also don't like not being in control. I get really worried about things I can't change just because I can't change them. when people do things I don't like, or act in a way that I disagree with, I spend too much time worrying about it and sometimes make bad choices as a result of being anxious and upset.

I decided that I didn't want to be that way anymore.

so I downloaded some good audiobooks to listen to and started leaving reminders for myself to make sure I took a few seconds every day to appreciate what I've got, and I've tried to be more positive overall. changing how I think and act is hard, and sometimes I still slip up, but I'm working on it.

while we were out with friends on NYE there was a conversation going where people were rolling their eyes and commenting about some other people we know and kat turned around to me and said "I haven't heard you say anything negative about anyone in a long time"

which is a really big deal for me

so while the new year isn't some milestone year where everything changes, what a very dear friend said to me on NYE was an indication to me that 2013 is going to bring good things.

just gotta keep working at it.