June 21, 2013

is how long I'm going to write for because frankly I'm in a foul as fuck mood and would rather be sulking at home with a beer instead of waiting to be picked up to go to a family function and then who knows what else all weekend. This weekend has gotten under my skin in every way possible and I need to just chill. da fuq. out.

Sigh.

This week has just been so trying. I feel like I've got my life on hold for some peeps and I'm getting completely jerked around and it's really wearing thin. I don't like second-guessing people and myself and what I've said/done to people and have zero tolerance for it. Nothing makes me flip out like that kind of shit but flipping out doesn't do me any good. It will just work against me. So I have to sit here and wait which also drives me nuts because I'm incredibly impatient. If there's one adult skill I've never acquired it's patience.

Anyway Tyrone is going away tomorrow night to party it up with his coworkers and in addition to getting my hurr did I have BBQ and movie plans with friends but frankly I just wanna stay home n have a soak in the bath n a glass of wine (or three) n watch a movie by myself. Is that so wrong?

The main reason is that we're supposed to be seeing the new Superman and 1. I don't wanna see it without Tyrone because he's MEGA stoked for it, 2. I hear it's only "meh" at best so I'm not really that stoked anymore, and 3. it's much easier to stay at home and relax and honestly guys I need it.

Honestly I shouldn't even be in a shitty mood at all.

I had a great, busy day at work so it went by super fast. Yesterday I got to hang with cool peeps at the a United Way luncheon and my zebra shirt was a hit. Then I biked home and took a huge-ass nap and bought a bunch of thrift-store clothes that look amazing. Tonight once I get over myself I'll get to hang with my fam, who I love, and have BBQ and home-made wine and hang out with my Granddad who is probably the coolest old dude ever.

Oh and did I mention that had free sushi for lunch?

And I got to take the cutest dog ever for a walk?

If I wasn't so busy stewing in my own mental swamp I'd be in the best mood ever!

Okay Shane. Chill the f out.

I downloaded this stupid app a few months ago which is supposed to help you meditate which sounds completely stupid and it kind of is. But honestly having some nice music playing and a hot-sounding chick voice telling me when n how long to breathe really helps. It's helping right now, actually.

Because when I get stressed out I start breathing all crazy like
in
out
in
out
really fast and my jaw clenches which I can feel right now
and this chick is telling me to let go
calm down
and stop blogging FFS.

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