Sloan was supposed to save rock music


or so I've been told by those much wiser than myself.

'Underwhelmed' came out when I was embarrassingly young -too young to be listening to music as cool as Sloan- but it was still kicking around in the form of my friend's cd of Smeared

(a word that I didn't yet associate with gross sexual stuff, but never mind)

when I was older to start appreciating the finer things in life.

We listened to Smeared to nonstop on her boom box while sitting on her concrete front step in front of her house, which was across the street from mine.

She was a few years older than I was and spent most of our time together explaining to my juvenile self just exactly why Sloan kicked so much ass

(a word I didn't dare say anywhere but on that front step)

why Jeff Martin of The Tea Party was so sexy

(hair, voice, perfect pitch)

why the Our Lady Peace album Naveed was clearly better than Clumsy

(I don't remember this, just that their videos freaked me out)

or why Treble Charger's "Red" gets more depressing the more you listen to it

(see what I mean?)

in addition to other life lessons that, sadly, have escaped me as the years have passed.

But the important ones stuck with me, clearly.