July 16, 2019

I got my first LiveJournal or maybe Xanga back in 2003 and started writing before it was cool to use your real name on the internet.

We called ourselves dumb stuff like moon_meditation, rainbow__heartache_, planetaryattack_, and Sonic_Cry and, thinking back

we were all really into underscores for some reason.

Nowadays it's cool and almost expected that you use your real name online but back in the day we called our blogs dumb things like

The Lost Planet

Marduk The Invincible's Blog

The Lolita Chronicles

and literally just:

...

We used avatars to set the tone for the way we were feeling with each post. People used Disney images and anime characters and illustrations and animated gifs instead of profile pictures and would cycle through different ones depending on how they felt that day.

At the top of each post we could list a bunch of info, like:

Title:
Date:
Security:
I am...:
I hear...:
I'm feeling...: 

and you'd fill it in like so:

Title: Without You I'm Nothing
Date: 11.11.2003
Security: public
I am...: Home sweet home
I hear...: Placebo - Every You Every Me
I'm feeling...: Reflective

I miss those days when blogging was simpler and you could say whatever you wanted.

Back when the internet was young and we poured our hearts here and talked about troubles and heartbreak and didn't give a damn if

things lined up or looked good

or if yr punctuation and grammar wasperfect

because you were writing as fast as you could think, unhindered and unencumbered, and as you poured the words out of your fingertips and onto that digital page you would feel this deep sense of relief and

catharsis

after hitting 'Publish'.

I miss those wild west days.

But being a blogging dinosaur isn't so bad. I've spent nearly two decades working through my bullshit and honing my craft and watching as the way people communicated online has changed

and my blog has changed me just as much as any social media network

but goddamn if I don't still miss using gifs as avatars.