December 19, 2023

I’m on my porch
the only light on a dark block
everyone’s asleep

but me.

I’m sitting here, thinking of you

and you, and you, and you

the seasons we shared
the ways we populated 
the seasons of each other’s lives.

Pulled each other up 
nurtured our roots
or let them anguish
or over-tended
or put in effort in when

things were rotten from the start.

I breathe in 
the empty night into my too-full heart 

and remember 

who I used to be

when we met
when we met
when 

we met

the days, long gone now

years and years 
entire lifetimes ago.

Nobody tells you when you’re young that everybody changes.

Or maybe they 
do but we think
we won’t
we’ll stay 
the same

friends forever.

Lovers for always.

Nothing changes until it does.

Someone told me once that you can’t take everyone with you and I didn’t believe them

Ubers pass on the street over

and I wonder if you’re in one

but you’re not

so I leave the lights on for you
and I make my way to bed

alone 

but just for the moment.