May 23, 2013

and my parents and brothers were there and for some reason we were touring his house which of course was in Toronto, even in my dream.

He had this wife who kinda looked like Sandy Hogan which was weird because 1. I've never seen The Hogan Family and 2. I've never seen Rob Ford's wife

(I'm assuming he's married but I dunno, who marries someone like him?)

Anyway we were walking around "his house" getting a tour for some reason

-maybe we won a contest or something-

and it was this super dumpy stucco monstrosity with trash and clothes and cardboard boxes everywhere.

I went into the garage and there was all this hockey stuff

(net, sticks, goalie pads, etc)

and I was all

"Rob Ford you can't even run, wtf do you have this for?"

and he was all

"I used to be an NHL star but I ate too many hams so I had to quit the team

now I'm the mayor of TO instead"

and we left Rob Ford's house and walked through his 'hood

there were people yelling and fights on the street and it was kinda scary

and I remember my dream-self thinking

"poor Rob Ford

If I had to go through life being you, I'd probably smoke crack too"

What's funny is that when I woke up I still felt the same way.

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