Closure Dreams

June 20, 2014 - 4:42pm - by admin

After every major life event (read: breakup) I have there's obviously a time of mourning and a time for sads and etc.

That's natural and I think everyone has them.

For me I know that something in my life is truly over when I dream about it.

It happens without fail, and it happened last night.

After I'd looked through old photos and remembered the life that I used to share with someone else. After I'd thought stuff like

look how happy we were

how did we let this happen

where will he go from here?

and, obviously, with a twinge of sadness

he'll be this happy with someone else someday

which is true, and I hope happens for him sooner than later.

Last night I had a dream that he called me to pick up some stuff and he was living in The Roslyn, which is this huge amazing old building in Osborne Village

and also my very first apartment where I lived as a single gal for a year, and where I was living when we started dating.

In my dream I went up to the 6th floor where he was living (which doesn't exist) and though I know we talked in my dream I don't remember what we talked about

and at the end of our discussion his phone rang and I said

who's that

and he said

my girlfriend

and then I woke up and realized how truly over everything was.

This happens every time I go something life-changing, and I hadn't realized until now how much I've come to expect and rely on those closure dreams.

It's like my mind's way of saying "it's okay.

It's over, and everything will be okay."

It's funny how sometimes we need to fall back on ourselves more than we need to fall back on other people.

I expected the dream to make me sad, and is has, a little

but it made me feel a lot better, actually

because it's a signal that I can start to really move forward.

Everything will be okay, for both of us.

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Had a dream about Rob Ford last night

May 23, 2013 - 9:48pm - by admin

and my parents and brothers were there and for some reason we were touring his house which of course was in Toronto, even in my dream.

He had this wife who kinda looked like Sandy Hogan which was weird because 1. I've never seen The Hogan Family and 2. I've never seen Rob Ford's wife

(I'm assuming he's married but I dunno, who marries someone like him?)

Anyway we were walking around "his house" getting a tour for some reason

-maybe we won a contest or something-

and it was this super dumpy stucco monstrosity with trash and clothes and cardboard boxes everywhere.

I went into the garage and there was all this hockey stuff

(net, sticks, goalie pads, etc)

and I was all

"Rob Ford you can't even run, wtf do you have this for?"

and he was all

"I used to be an NHL star but I ate too many hams so I had to quit the team

now I'm the mayor of TO instead"

and we left Rob Ford's house and walked through his 'hood

there were people yelling and fights on the street and it was kinda scary

and I remember my dream-self thinking

"poor Rob Ford

If I had to go through life being you, I'd probably smoke crack too"

What's funny is that when I woke up I still felt the same way.

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had a dream about classes ending last night

April 1, 2013 - 5:13pm - by admin

and I always have weird dreams about school or vacations or my job or whatever I have looming right away in life.

in this dream I walked into my visual rhetoric class and my prof
-who of course isn't the actual prof that teaches the class because then it wouldn't be a dream-
was all

"okay we're going to have a term exam as well as the final exam so open yr books and two of the questions listed"

which honestly freaked me out (in my dream) because we hadn't been told about any term exam so I was freaking out a bit and my friend @JohnNorman was there and his wife also who is super smart and they both told me it wouldn't be an issue because I was smart, too.

except I didn't remember reading the books mentioned in the term exam questions

one of the questions asked about how the changing hairstyles of one of the secondary characters represented their internal conflicts (struggles?) and I was all

I have no idea how changing personal styles represent developing and resolving internal conflicts
wtf am I doing in university

and I was freaking out because johnny khemlab had already written two pages and I hadn't written anything yet and for some reason I was carrying around all these papers in my bag. like weird looseleaf pages from old homework and hand-outs and crap that I didn't need but had for some reason.

so I'm going through this huge pile of paper because I'm trying to find my lecture notes so I can answer these questions and not get an F on my term exam

stressing hard because it's almost the end of the term how could I be so disorganized and not be able to remember what the changing hairstyles mean at a critical moment?!

then the cats decided to walk on my face and yell at me which woke me up

so that solved that problem.

I also had another dream about a strange man who followed me around a scrapyard as I made art from sand but that's another story.

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had a dream about mcdonalds last night

March 20, 2013 - 11:29pm - by admin

way back when I was a tween I used to work at a mcdix in this underground walkway downtown called winnipeg square and I haven't thought about that job in ages

so it was extra-weird to dream about mcchickens and chocolate milk and mini fridges under the counter

for the first time in close to a decade.

people I knew kept showing up and asking

alyson wtf are you working at mcdix for

and I had no idea.

I was too busy stressing that the mcmuffins were burnt and the grease in the fryer hadn't been changed

and I hadn't gotten my lunch break yet and it was almost time for the dinnertime rush

which was especially weird because I only worked till 4pm

so I had already made like a tree and gtfo'd before that ish started.

though one thing I did like working there was the zen state you got into

when everything was past-paced and crazy and it felt like if you slowed down you would lose yr head

kinda like how things are right now.

good but cray.

suddenly my dream makes sense.

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Hip Hop Sunday #46 Slaughterhouse ft B.o.B - Welcome to Our House

September 2, 2012 - 4:00pm - by admin

had a dream last night about an alternate universe where everything was black and white and these versions of ourselves walked around leading totally different lives than the ones we had.

my parents were cruising around the world on this giant yacht where my dad was throwing these raging parties.

one of our friends (I think it was komus) was living on a spaceship.

colin was living in the mountains in this old temple.

one of my brothers was living in africa saving the elephants.

I was living in this huge mansion with corinthian columns and this massive pool that I was floating around in on this huge inflatable mattress. tony and raymi lived next door. tyrone was making these huge murals all over the house and his mom lived in an equally huge house up the street.

but I was happy to wake up from it all and come back real life

cause you guys know I love Hip Hop Sunday.

go enjoy it

xo

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Every night is an adventure

October 21, 2011 - 8:31pm - by admin

even though I obviously don't remember all of my dreams, I always feel like I wake up remembering a significant portion of part of a dream story (regaling poor Tyrone with my weird dream-stories in the morning is one of my favourite things to do :))

that's why I was happy to find this cool vid on Tumblr today:

I've actually been creeping on this dude's youtube channel for the last little while. I love videos that teach me things.

this has felt like the longest week ever (again). being in school and working has a weird way of sucking up all your free time & energy and leaving you wondering where it all went. tonight Tyrone and I are going on a dinner & movie date and we're seeing this and I am excited.

going to go on a coffee run in a bit I think. I've been manning the reception at my office and wearing a scarf from Rome that my Grandma gave to me and some 50s station is playing in the background, so I'm feeling positively retro today. busy weekend full of fun activities but what else is new?

this is how I feel right now :)

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