I brought this on myself
The weird, striped belly top with blown-out armpits.
Which he tried on over his shirt while the dude running the yard sale laughed at us.
"You have to!" I said "it's perfect for festivals!"
Yesterday he wore it during Canada Day, for funsies
and the arms ripped off
and now it's just a Sick Vest.
Most people would be appalled and weirded out
but not me
I just enable the weirdness.