May 13, 2018

which makes getting positive feedback all that much more overwhelming because inside my head my inner monologue is going:

"These people just don't see you for the real you. If they knew the real you they'd know how much you actually suck as a human being."

Which is kinda true because I have lots of lumps and bumps and character flaws which keep me from controlling my temper 24/7

or from not getting annoyed when something is taking too long, or I'm bored

or from putting other people's needs above my own as often as I'd like.

But last week I ran into a lady from an organization I've been volunteering with and she had a lot of nice things to say about me and what I do and it felt good, and I just want to record it here for posterity because I, like most humans, do a great job of remembering something mean someone said to us in the 8th grade but forgetting the nice things someone said about us two days ago.

And believe me, I have a lot of that negative BS built up from years ago. I have lots to draw from when I want to feel shitty about myself or think dumb things about myself that I know aren't true.

So let's do a fun exercise together, shall we?

Think about a nice thing you did recently.

Maybe you held a door open for a mom with a giant stroller who was struggling with her kid, bag, purse, and life in general and who probably really appreciated that small kindness.

Maybe you called up a friend or sent them a message and asked them how they were doing because you saw that their Facebook posts haven't been super positive recently and you want to make sure they're doing okay.

Maybe you helped a coworker out with meeting a big deadline because they've been feeling overwhelmed with their workload and it's been stressing them out.

Maybe you reminded someone that you love them.

Whatever it is, give yourself a pat on the back for doing it. I'm serious.

It's s easy to get wrapped up in yr own shit and stop putting in the time and effort to pay it forward and do a little good where we can.

I know those feels. Life's busy.

But it's nice to be reminded of the small ways we can make a difference from time to time.