December 19, 2019

It's odd to be in a calm, happy place.

I don't feel this way very often, so I try and enjoy it when I can.

Usually I feel all wound-up inside, at least to some degree, with a worry or a nagging feeling or an anxiety I'm figuring out how to put down. But every so often I find myself in a place where I can

breathe

feeling the air filling my lungs and really being present.

I struggle with that sometimes.

Tomorrow's the last day of work before the holidays. Our offices are both closed until January 2nd and I'm really looking forward to spending a few days relaxing and recharging with friends and family and writing and painting and playing Final Fantasy VII.

I've been burning the candle at both ends since September and yr girl needs a break, which is why I'm staying in tonight.

John's at the Complex Games holiday party and I'm sitting in a the kitchen with a glass of wine surrounded by the smell of the oranges I'm drying in the oven to make Christmas ornaments.

Once I'm finished writing this I'll make some mushroom soup 

(Campbell's brand, my guilty pleasure)

and a grilled cheese with the dark brown rye bread our upstairs neighbour gave us and watch the Dem Debate.

Maybe I'll get more work done after that, but I'm in the home stretch of fine-tuning and reviewing and making sure everything is in order as we move into the new year, and I need to draw up a contract for a new client Starling just landed, but that's it really.

My fellow business owners know the relief of having all your ducks in a row before you go on vacation, and that's the vibe I'm feeling right now.

Tomorrow I need to go to The Bay downtown and shop in that big, old department store that I love. I need to find a bodysuit and skirt for my wedding dress

(yes, both)

before heading down to work from Forth until John and I meet up after work. We're going to the local legion to cheers under the glow of the rainbow Christmas lights that looked so charming as we walked by along McDermot last night. 

It gets dark so early these days and I can't wait to look at the man I love under the glow of all those cheesy festive lights and honestly

it's nice to have a second to breathe and get excited about that.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go interrupt my calm, serene silence by watching a bunch of grown adults yell at each in front of a million plus viewers

(you bet I'm watching the Dem Debate)

Happy holidays, my loves.