April 2014

Grammatically incorrect graffiti

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Kids these days.

Texted my bro "happy bday dude"

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"what are you up to tonight? Want to grab a beer?"

which seemed like a perfectly reasonable request to meet me to drink beer and probably eat greasy appetizers at The Toad or maybe Cornerstone since he doesn't get out of the suburbs all that often.

Which apparently it isn't.

Later on, while on the phone with my mum and after a hilariously frustrating conversation about
how to use her call waiting
when is the appropriate time to use call waiting
and finally
that she does in fact know how to use her call waiting but likes to be difficult

(typical Mum behaviour for which I both tease & love her endlessly)

I mentioned that I had texted my bro and she said

"oh yes, he called and mentioned that he'd seen your messages"

to which I said

"why didn't he respond to me?"

to which she said

"because you didn't ask him to call you, or to text you back"


Bless my family, who are permanently stuck in the Dark Ages.

Tags: Audio Family Life


Sloan was supposed to save rock music

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or so I've been told by those much wiser than myself.

'Underwhelmed' came out when I was embarrassingly young -too young to be listening to music as cool as Sloan- but it was still kicking around in the form of my friend's cd of Smeared

(a word that I didn't yet associate with gross sexual stuff, but never mind)

when I was older to start appreciating the finer things in life.

We listened to Smeared to nonstop on her boom box while sitting on her concrete front step in front of her house, which was across the street from mine.

She was a few years older than I was and spent most of our time together explaining to my juvenile self just exactly why Sloan kicked so much ass

(a word I didn't dare say anywhere but on that front step)

why Jeff Martin of The Tea Party was so sexy

(hair, voice, perfect pitch)

why the Our Lady Peace album Naveed was clearly better than Clumsy

(I don't remember this, just that their videos freaked me out)

or why Treble Charger's "Red" gets more depressing the more you listen to it

(see what I mean?)

in addition to other life lessons that, sadly, have escaped me as the years have passed.

But the important ones stuck with me, clearly.


Avril Lavigne

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 wat r u doin

 avril lavigne


(awful video here because all the vids posted to youtube keep getting taken down)


At Thom Bargen

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It's so warm outside that the door is open, so
the shop smells like
and spring.

Which is lovely.

I am here with the intention of getting
positively loopy
on caffeine
and reading
The Gone-Away World.

But am too
and otherwise
to pay much attention to the book.

The people in the shop are as follows:

Two baristas.
The nice man with the shaved head and
ginger beard
the nice girl who
despite my anxiousness over the decision
helped me pick some beans to take home.

Three guys.
Discussing something I can't make out
they all have nice
red/dark brown leather wallets
splayed out on the table
between napkins and notepads
and smartphones that keep chiming.

I think they are discussing an art show.

Two girls to my right.
Talking about
travelling alone
the rules of the road
the CBC
and boys
(of course)

An amazing man
in a tattered pinstripe three-piece suit just walked by
wearing white wrap-around sunglasses
clearly not giving
one single fuck
just walked by
made my day.

Plus me.

at reading my book club book.

But that's okay.

People are far more interesting anyway.
Tags: Life Pink Writing


RIP 'the Beave'

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aka Adam Rickner

who hosted the MTN Kids Club on what is now Citytv

as a puppet beaver named Beave, and his cohost Buckley the dog.

Watching clips from the show, now, I realize

how totally cobbled-together it was

and how they totally sounded like hosers.

I used to watch the shit out of that show when I was little

in-between cartoons after school

and on the wknd

and it's funny how looking at a picture

or watching a video

gives me warm fuzzies for my simpler,

younger days.

(Man, I'm getting old.)
Tags: Black


Mum called and said

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"be at yr house right away, we're by the art gallery"

and I said


(but I still love her)


Slept on the couch this afternoon

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not because I was tired
but because I was angry
at nothing.

Everything was annoying.

Everything sucked.

Even though
everything is
utterly amazing
right now.

(Waah waah waah)

It's stupid how
even when we should be
we make ourselves so

For no reason.

Luckily all yr girl needed
was a nap
some weird dreams
cat holds

To not rage at the world anymore.

This conversation literally just happened

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Me: Are you reading about cars?

Tyrone: Someone on Facebook posted an article how the 300-mile per gallon VW hybrid is apparently "not allowed in America because it's too efficient" and some quick research shows that that's completely not true.

Me: Who posted that?

Tyrone: Somebody. I don't even know them. It doesn't matter. They're WRONG.


Yesterday was Colin's birthday

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536250_10151895200806211_1804154214_nso, naturally, we went to one of the best watering holes in town, The Yellow Dog

(which I first went to with Colin, of course.)

I first met Colin years ago now, back before we were both students and were

(I'd like to think)

significantly less cynical than we are now.

But I could be mistaken there.

We met through Twitter and the first time we met face-to-face was at a Secret Handshake gathering and he told me that I would know him because he would be wearing

"a TMNT hat and shirt"

which turned out to be true -Colin owns a tshirt with a giant Ninja Turtle face on it as well as a hat with a giant Ninja Turtle face on it

and I was impressed not only that he owned two such pieces of clothing, but that he'd worn them out in public together


so I knew we'd be friends immediately.

Since then we've had many brunches, beers, and adventures together

and hopefully now that we've both graduated from our respective areas of study and have big-kid jobs

we'll have even more.

Happy (belated) birthday, Colin!

You'll always be my favourite baby-faced friend from the internet.


yr girl Shaner

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