February 10, 2012

yeah you heard that right, at the cinema as part of the great digital film festival which means seeing old movies on the big screen for (pretty) cheap, which is what we did last night after I worked for four hours getting cute Italian seniors drunk at the v-day party at my work. so obviously I needed some blood, gore and 'splosions to help me relax.

we went with Kat and jbroadway who gave us a lift because it was colder than a witches tit outside last night and not even Robocop is worth braving -40 weather to go see.

and would you believe I've never even seen Robocop before? yeah, I live under a rock.

it also was released the year I was born along with other such classics as
dirty dancing
good morning vietnam
evil dead 2
full metal jacket
empire of the sun
lethal weapon
the princess bride
the running man
and
harry and the hendersons

just kidding about that last one. plus this isn't a post about awesome movies that were released in 1987 it's a post about how awesome Robocop is and how every movie set in 'the near future' from the 80s just looks more like the 80s than the 80s did?

especially the haircuts


but this isn't a post about haircuts or style in Robocop it's a post about how Robocop manages to be a totally over-the-top satire of corporatism, technology, capitalism, the media and the ideology of progress with ironic billboards and games that involve nuking your enemy before they nuke you and the new car the 6000 SUX.

though my parents had a 6000 when I was a kid and it did suck


but this isn't a post about how much my parents pontiac 6000 sucked, it's a post about how Robocop taught me that you don't leave nuclear waste lying around in back alleys in bad neighbourhoods because some guy could drive his van into it and wind up looking like this:



but this isn't a post about nuclear waste melting skin, it's a post about Robocop and how when we went to see it there were a bunch of super-wasted guys sitting in the row behind us who kept cheering and clapping and yelling and it was super annoying and rude because you know what? even though it's an old movie it doesn't mean you can act like a drunken douchebag and clap and yell at the parts you think are funny because news flash you're not the only one in the theater, dumbass.



but this isn't a post about stupid guys in the theater, it's a post about Robocop and how awesome Red from That 70's Show was as one of the bad guys and how his line "bitches, leave" to the coked-up prostitutes is probably one of the most badass low-key villain lines ever



but this isn't a post about how impressed I was by Kurtwood Smith's wicked performance in Robocop, it's a post about Robocop and how great I thought it was and how I'm glad I got to see it in all it's bad 80s glory on the big screen because you don't get the full effect of the gore and explosions and general badassery when you watch that kind of flick at home, I think.

and to refresh your mind about how terrible/awesome it is, enjoy the original trailer



but apparently the sequels all suck, so let's just forget they made those.

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