March 21, 2012

because after attempting to watch some Jersey Shore last week I thought that maybe I should try my hand at understanding another 'trend' that at a glance I assume is both completely stupid and a total waste of my time and here is what I learned:

I don't get this crap, either

apparently you can't watch My Little Pony on the hasbro website which makes my eyes want to bleed, so I had to find an episode online to watch and this is what happened:

some still images and a voice-over told me about two unicorn sisters who controlled the light and the day, but the night unicorn got upset that the ponies slept during her time so she decided it would always be night and the other (good?) unicorn harnessed some jewels and trapped her in the moon. which apparently was some story being read by some pony sitting on a hill reading a book. then the intro started which was a song about magic and friends and other stuff, I have no idea, and then the pony reading a book was walking on the road and it has some really stupid My Little Pony type name and some other ponies invited her to the party some other pony with a stupid name was having in a courtyard.

then I stopped because, my god, it's terrible.



I remember the original My Little Pony show being really lame and terrible as far as children's shows go and the closest I really got to being "into" it was someone gave me a pony as a gift with a saddle that opened up so you could store stuff in her back. but it was okay that the show sucked and the toys were junk because it was a children's show that no adult in their right mind could actually find cute or cool

and I think that's my issue with this 'new' My Little Pony.

because I'm seeing My Little Pony stuff everywhere. people are posting pictures of these weird anime versions of horses all over facebook, pinterest, on twitter and don't even get me started on the My Little Pony cesspool that is tumblr and I get it if it were a bunch of tweens that were posting about this kind of stuff, but actual adults who I respect are doing it and I simply don't understand it.

My Little Pony isn't cute or cool or awesome or whatever, it's a really terrible remake of a terrible kids show that happens to look like anime now and for Christ's sake it's called My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. that doesn't even make sense! it's these arbitrary cutsey buzzwords linked together to make you think something is zomg cute when it's just useless fluff.

and you know what
it's not Hello Kitty
it's not Keropi
it's not Chococat
it's not Batz-maru
it's not any of the list of Sanrio characters who it is socially acceptable for adults to think is cute
(and that's still depending on who you ask)
because people my age grew up with those
it's different when you grow up with a show and you're naturally inclined to like it due to nostalgia but as far as I can tell there is nothing beyond the "omg these ponies have big anime eyes" that is actually in any way appealing and
no
that doesn't make it acceptable for grown men (who I know!) to be calling themselves
"bronies"
really, guys? really?

see, adults watching Jersey Shore I can kind of understand. it's escapism. it's just people wanting to forget their dramas and shitty lives and watching other people's dramas and shitty lives and even though I don't agree that it's valuable to society in any way I can at least rationalize why it's so huge. plus at least on Jersey Shore the characters actually have sex with actual people unlike the disturbing pony-on-pony pr0n people post on tumblr.

I just can't rationalize the pony thing.

it's fluff. it's stupid, useless, annoying, fluff and there's actually less reason for us to be excited about animated ponies than Jersey Shore because at least the useless annoying characters on Jersey Shore are at least (to some extent) actual, physical people. these are just ugly, misshaped, fake-anime horses.

basically this is how I felt watching it:



I'm done.

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