Dear David Bowie

August 23, 2011 - 6:55pm - by admin

I have been thinking about you a lot lately.

Okay well maybe not you. more like the time I spent living in this nothing town in Ontario with my ex when I really started listening to your music. I was 19 and I liked annoying him by playing 'Andy Warhol' over and over in the CD deck in his car. He'd try and put in Modest Mouse or something and I'd say "one more time!" and then it would turn into twenty.

one time we went on a drive and I had my iPod Nano
(did you have one? or are you too cool for that sort of thing?)
and I said "I made us this awesome mp3 mix for the drive and it was just 'Andy Warhol' on repeat.
it took him three loops to realize it wasn't on shuffle and replaying by accident and he didn't think it was as funny as I did.

I think you're clever and cool and really interesting to look at. I think if I ever met you I would throw up from nervousness, so that probably won't ever happen. sorry in advance if it does.

when I was young I was really into Nirvana and my favourite song was "The Man Who Sold the World" and even though I knew it was a cover I didn't listen to it for a long time
I don't remember when I first heard the original (yours) but I just remember being disappointed in it which in hindsight makes me feel bad because the Nirvana cover is still my favourite
it may have to do with my tween crush on Kurt Cobain

I liked your crotch acting in Labyrinth and keep saying I'll go as you in that movie for Halloween but I can't because I'm not flat-chested enough to be androgynous like you

which is why I will never get a job at American Apparel.

Rolling Stone says you're the 39th greatest artist of all time which is stupid because you're definitely cooler than the Everley Brothers and Smokey Robinson & The Miracles and you're possibly cooler than both put together.

but Nirvana is 27th and I can't argue with that, sorry David Bowie. we already went over my Kurt Cobain crush and his angst beats out your glam rock

but I still think you're neat.

your friend in the future,

Alyson S.

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