Tagged: life

2014

January 1, 2015 - 11:11pm - by Alyson Shane

It's 2015.

I should probably write something profound. That's what people do in the New Year, right?

Here's my best shot at it. Fuelled by rum and gin and crepes:

2014 was the year I left my safe-yet-unhealthy 4+ year relationship.

It destroyed me. It still destroys me.

Last night I deleted the only video of him that I still had on my phone. I hadn't watched it in months, and seeing that face, hearing that voice tore me apart on the inside. I took it on the last "good weekend" we had before things started to really unravel and seeing and hearing, seeing that face, that voice using our silly couple-language, tore me apart.

But it was time to let go.

It was time to let go of my idea of that person. It was time to let go of the idea of the man that I was with, the idea of the man that I wanted him to be.

But that's how I want to remember him. I don't want to remember him as the person that he is, now.

The person who couldn't handle the breakup; the person who made people choose between he and I; the person who slandered me to anyone who would listen; the person who harassed me for months.

I saw an awful, dirty side of him that I wish I could forget.

Breaking up is a dirty business and I don't recommend it to anyone.

But sometimes it has to be done.

Last night I decided to start letting go of the idea of the person that I once loved. It was tragic and awful and I could only do it with an empty glass in my hand because sometimes we need that push to do what's right.

It was right and it was hard and it was terrible.

2014 was the year I got fired from my first out-of-university job.

I was hired after a summer of floundering around trying to find work and I loved it. It was amazing, interesting, exciting, and stressful as hell. I used to have dreams about work. I dreamt about writing reports, pricing out items, walking around the giant building that they rent in The Exchange District.

But I wasn't trained properly.

I had a manager who was largely absent. I was the 4th person to hold that position in a year and a half, which speaks volumes.

When I was let go, it was without any notice and without any feedback.

It devastated me. I didn't know what to do with myself.

But I moved on.

I found promise in a new job and, more importantly, in freelance work that has taught me more than being a "go-fer" at a larger company could ever have.

I started to look at my career path as something that I can shape to what I want, and not just climbing a corporate ladder somewhere.

It was liberating. It was terrifying. It was... amazing.

2014 was the year when I stopped partying so damn much.

Weekends wasted, talking about nothing of importance with people who forgot my words because they were equally as out of it and equally as uninvested in our conversation.

I guess everyone goes through a phase where they party, but I'm glad to be out of mine.

At least of the two-day-extravaganza variety.

Whew.

2014 was the year I fell in love, again.

But not that shitty half-assed love.

The kind of love that consumes you and eats you up and spits you out.

The kind where you wake up and think "holy shit I get to wake up next to and hold and talk to and fuck this person right here"

And you do. And every day is amazing. Even the shitty, awful, retched ones where you can't agree and cast dark glances over the top of yr keyboard. even those days.

I've never had that before.

I've never been consumed by something this way and I'm at the point where I'm honestly scared to talk about these things online, even, because aren't you not supposed to? Aren't writers only supposed to talk about heartbreak and meaningless sex and failed love?

Maybe, but then that doesn't make me much of a writer, does it?

Which brings me to my next point:

2014 was the year I wrote.

I scribble ideas everywhere.

I write poems, haikus, letters, blog posts, everything.

The words fall out of me and I can't stop them. I've never felt so overwhelmed with words and thoughts and messy, outrageous ideas.

This is the year that I've accepted myself as a writer. I used to be scared of my words. Of their permanence, that they might expose something of myself that I might one day want to forget.

But I'm not afraid of it anymore. It sounds crazy, but it's true.

Words define us. They make us who we are and, if we let them, expose the deepest depths of our souls.

I don't want to run from that anymore.

I'm not scared of who I am.

So that's my 2014.

I could go into more detail. I gardened, I attended festivals, I met new people, formed new friendships, and learned so much.

But these are the few points that I think really matter.

To me, and maybe to you.

Here's to last year: the totally transformative 2014.

Here's to next year: may be it beautiful, bombastic, and may it move you and teach you things about yourself that you never knew.

yr girl Shaner

Happy Boxing Day

December 27, 2014 - 2:20am - by Alyson Shane

I hope you had a wonderful Christmas, if you celebrate it.

If not, I hope you enjoyed your day off and did something magical.

I'm in silk pyjamas in a blanket fort. Life is good.

Happy Holidays

xox

yr girl Shaner

Tags: Life

Blanket Forts Forever

December 22, 2014 - 5:26pm - by Alyson Shane

Spent my Sunday evening sipping spiked hot chocolate and sewing blankets together. Those blankets were then suspended from the corners and the ceiling so that now my living room looks like this:

We're throwing a NYE Blanket Fort party and this is the prep.

It also means that I get to live in a whimsical, magical, outrageous blanket fort for the next who knows how long.

It's amazing.

Honestly, though, it took me a while to get into the idea.

"Who lives in a blanket fort?" I thought "grown-ups don't live in blanket forts."

Then I remembered the best thing about being grown-up:

I can do whatever the hell I want.

Yessssssss.

Tags: Life

Here's how stupidly anxious I get sometimes:

December 17, 2014 - 6:51pm - by Alyson Shane

I picked up some Christmas cards this morning and spent a bunch of time perfecting messages to write inside them.

I used a fancy pen.

I did my best cursive (I always print).

I wanted these to be perfect.

Then I made a million dumb mistakes because I'm so not-used to writing cursive letters that the shapes felt unnatural.

My writing looked sloppy and worse than usual.

I got frustrated.

Then I realized that one of the envelopes needed extra postage

and I only have regular stamps.

So I thought "fuck this, I'm using this as an opportunity to do this right this time"

I went out and bought the lovely cards you see above.

I wrote the same heartfelt messages.

But this time I did it in my usual, messy, unladylike printing.

Because Christmas isn't about being perfect

(or trying to be)

it's about being yrself.

Thanks Christmas cards for reminding me.

Tags: Life Christmas

Hi Thursday

December 11, 2014 - 10:09pm - by Alyson Shane

Woke up feeling like a million bucks. I’ve been reading A Tale of Two Cities before bed and it’s been nice to be delving back into some fiction on my own time. John and I snuggled extra hard this morning and after wolfing back some eggs and a cup of coffee I booked it to the bus. Originally I thought I’d hate using transit for my commute but it’s been giving me a lot of time to think and mentally organize my plans for the day.

This song came on my Songza playlist while I was en route to the office. Love it.

John’s company, The Campfire Union, was featured in this spiffy video about the future of virtual reality that New Media Manitoba put together. It’s so exciting to be surrounded by such positive and driven people!

The weekend is here and this is basically all I want to do:

(Okay, maybe not alone. But you get the idea)

Tags: Life Music Videos New media manitoba The campfire union

New Media Manitoba's #NMMparty14 event

December 4, 2014 - 8:58pm - by Alyson Shane

Tuesday night I spent in the evening in the company of some of Winnipeg's finest entrepreneurs and tech-savvy folks at the New Media Manitoba holiday party. It was held at The Met, which is one of my favourite (absolutely gorgeous) venues.

One of the highlights of the evening was a series of little videos showcasing some great local tech companies, including Visual Lizard, Bold Commerce, Dash Agency and my dear friends at The Campfire Union.

(Les totally killed it, by the way. Well done!)

The video was put together by Handcraft Creative, who totally outdid themselves - it was a seriously professional and impressive piece.

The Campfire VR demo setup of Yana Virtual Relaxation was also a huge hit. I've hung out on Dagat Beach a few times and it's so immersive! Here's local Twitter megastar Ben Rogers giving it a whirl:

Thanks again to New Media Manitoba for hosting such a spectacular event, and for providing me with an opportunity to gorge on tiny snacks, free popcorn and white wine. Yummmm!

Tags: Life Winnipeg New Media Manitoba The Campfire Union

Date Night

November 29, 2014 - 4:29pm - by Alyson Shane

Went on a lovely, much-needed date last night. After a busy workweek it's always nice to spend some time unwinding with your favourite person.

We hit up King + Bannatyne for dinner and it was amazing. John had the brisket and I had the buffalo chicken and we shared a soup which kept us warm enough to dash from that street to the adjacent one where Across The Board is located.

We tried out a couple of games while we were there including Bandidos, Mr. Jack and Lost Cities. I generally hate card-style games but John was really patient with me and it was a lot of fun!

(here we're figuring out how to play Bandidos)

That'll teach me to kibosh something just because it's out of my comfort zone.

By the time we got home it was after 1am and I almost fell asleep on the couch watching the finale of Summer Heights High.

Tonight we're seeing The Xanad00ds at The Park Theatre. Can't wait!

Tags: Life Dating

The Times, They Are A-Changin'

November 25, 2014 - 5:35pm - by Alyson Shane

Specifically regarding the look and feel of my website.

The last year has been an incredible time for growth, reflection and opportunities (see more about those feelings here) and it's about time that my website grew up a bit, as well.

Now it's got a clean, streamlined feel.
It's easy to navigate and focuses on more than just my blog
(because, hey, I do freelance work too!)
And it's a better reflection of me as a person and as a professional.

I'm so excited to be able to share this with you guys, and I'd love to hear what you think about the new design!

Also, biggest props to John and Rae of The Campfire Union for their help making this thing look sharp as eff -you guys are amazing! xox

Tags: Life Blogging The Campfire Union

Week(end) wrap-up

November 24, 2014 - 2:52am - by admin

I'm writing this on a Sunday night in my fleece-lined leggings and one of John's sweaters. I've been largely absent since last week (except Hip Hop Sunday, of course) because I wanted to spend a weekend getting back in touch with the other parts of my life that I let lapse sometimes.

I went to the gym Fri/Sat/Sun which felt amazing; I've been going a lot more regularly and in addition to feeling a million times better I'm seeing results both in how my body looks and in terms of my strength. This week I learned that 5lbs more weight can make a huge difference in how I feel after lifting weights!

Last night I stayed in and worked on an old painting I started months ago. I'm awful for starting an art project and letting everything else in my life get in front of finishing it, so it felt great to sit down and actually work on it again. Btw, all my painting are for sale so if you're ever interested in buying or commissioning a piece, give me a shout!

Today was simple: sleep in, gym, client work, some Wii, and a nice chat with my dad. After a few busy weekends, and feeling under the weather last week, it felt great to "reset" -bring on the workweek!

Here's what happened last week, too:

Last Thursday I tagged along with The Campfire Union crew to check out Complex Games' open house in their gorgeous office space in The Exchange District.