Tagged: men

Dating was the worst

- by admin

Before getting "into a relationship" Tyrone I was single for a few years while I figured my shit out
(still working on that)
and even though I didn't really want to start going on dates with anyone I figured I should probably go on a few to keep myself 'in the game' and not be the weird spinster friend who hates on happy couples because they're so lonely, waah.

Not me!

Sometimes they worked out for a little while and cute boys would play Monkey Island and drink beers with me or we'd watch Brazil on laserdisc and listen to vinyl.

But not usually.

After talking to my lady-friends I've confirmed that dates usually go like this:

Pretending to like someone and playing nice over dinner or in a dark theatre or mini golf and the whole time thinking


to nobody except yourself which is stupid because you got yourself into this situation, dummy.

You should have just said 'no thank you' to start but instead you said yes because you're lonely or desperate or maybe both
(likely both)
and dating some idiot is better than being single, right?
(it isn't)
Which inevitably leads to that awkward situation a few dates/weeks in where you wake up and realize
you're a douchecanoe and I don't want your penis near me anymore
at which time you stop texting back and suddenly get "really busy" instead of being up-front like an adult.

(There's also that one time I slammed a guy's car door in his face and ran into my house away from him, but that's another story)

Up until now I'd always assumed that this female tactic was just called "being a bitch" or "wussing out" but today I learned a much more appropriate title:

"The Fadeaway"


got hit on in Value Village the other day

- by admin

dear friend John is having a party tonight which involved wearing pyjamas and playing in blanket forts and eating sleepover food. oh and drinking, of course, because that makes it acceptable for adults to do these kinds of ridiculous things.

which meant on thursday we went to Value Village with Kat & John and scoped out random clothes and also more blankets with which to make the aforementioned amazing fort.

at one point I went over to scope the book section as I usually do. I think all but one of my Margaret Atwood books have come from VV and a lot of other books in my library, too, so I always go over to scope out which books people don't want to read anymore.

so I round the corner walking with the kind of determination that you only get while in a store filled with people slowly walking with huge shopping carts and almost walk smack into this dude


I apologize and step around him and start examining the 'literature' section because obviously that's what I read, right?

and I'm standing there surveying the books and you know that feeling you get when you know someone is looking at you? I'm getting that hardcore so I turn and look at the dude in the aisle with me with an espression I hope is conveying the following sentiment:


one eyebrow cocked and everything and sure enough he's looking at me and looks away and I look away because not it's extra-weird and he goes

you look really nice this evening

and runs out of the aisle.

which made it extra awkward when later on while looking through obnoxious suit combo outfits he came around the corner and we made eye contact and he ducked behind a rack of jeans to avoid me. awesome.

but Tyrone is playing Skyward Sword and we're both tearing up, so I'd better go before the waterworks turn on.

unrelated to my earlier story but this game is so sweet.

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