Swimming makes me happy
It also makes me feel like this:
And sometimes makes me with I'd stayed at home like this:
But working it in with my regular workouts is making me feel like I can take on the world.
And that's pretty cool.
On Winnipeg, and negativity
One of my most popular posts is a post I wrote praising Winnipeg a few years ago. I still stand by it.
But I didn't always.
I used to be one of those winter-hating, downtown-bashing, sad excuses for citizens who felt that the only positive aspect about living in Winnipeg was that I was able to bitch about it.
I used to think that moving to Toronto would solve all my problems. That it would make me happy.
Who the fuck knows why.
A bigger city doesn't make you a better person.
A different climate doesn't change your personality.
A subway system or some skyscrapers or more clubs to visit on the weekends doesn't improve who you are.
Only you are in charge of that.
This seems to be something that people from Winnipeg forget about. People I see on Facebook and on forums and in newspaper comments.
They become so obsessed with associating their identity (read: personal misery) with where they live that they blame their city for causing them to be bored, broke, stuck in a rut or otherwise unhappy with their lives.
As though a city is to blame for their own personal choices and mistakes.
When someone posts something negative about Winnipeg, I wonder if they realize that it's a reflection of themselves? When they say "eugh what a shit-hole! This city sucks!" do they realize that they live here. They're a part of whatever problems they feel the city has because they're a citizen here.
Any by rejecting their own personal responsibility they put down those of us who are trying to stay and make things better.
By saying "I'm better than Winnipeg!" what they're saying is "I'm better than everyone who chooses to live here. I'm better than you."
Because instead of trying to figure out why they're unhappy here they blame Winnipeg. And they run away.
(Or say they're going to, anyway)
Most people who claim to "hate" Winnipeg never seem to actually go anywhere. They stay here and gripe because it's far easier to bitch about it than to actually take all the steps necessary to move away.
This is because people's perceptions of their problems are so deeply-tied to Winnipeg that most people don't ever actually leave. It provides people with a reason to be upset, with an easy scapegoat.
"My life would be so much better if I left this place"
"My career would be farther along if I lived somewhere else"
"I'd be a happier person if I didn't live here"
I hear people make these statements and it makes me sad for them. That their happiness is contingent on a population size, on street names, on landscape.
What a horrible way to go through life.
Don't get me wrong -I'm not saying nobody should ever leave. There are a multitude of good reasons for anyone to move anywhere.
But a shitty attitude shouldn't be one of them.
I know some brilliant people
One of them is Skot Deeming aka mrghosty, who I met years ago through Tyrone and currently stalk via the interwebs since he moved away to Toronto and now to Montreal to earn his doctorate and become drghosty.
Today though he was in town to give an artist talk at Videopool about curating games and game-based networks as you can see in the above photo.
Because in addition to being a grad-and-now-phd student studying digital games (among other things) he's also interested in having conversations about games as art, the physicality of games, the ephemeral nature of pop-up arcades, and a multitude of other intellectual subjects pertaining to gaming that most of us don't think about day to day.
As an avid gamer myself I'm always interested in what Skot has to say, and it was wonderful to have the opportunity to hear him speak.
My Toronto peeps should make a point to check out Vector Gave + Art Convergence Festival which runs Feb 19-23 and everyone should make a point to keep up with Skot's work is through his twitter @mrghostyx.
As always Skot, it was a pleasure seeing you and getting to witness all your smarts.
xox yr Shaner
"Enjoy the fuck out of it"
is something that my friend Adam (on the right) says a lot.He's one of the most ridiculous people I know. Incredibly sweet and hilarious and rocks harder than anyone else, guaranteed.
Recently I was thinking "wtf am I going to do with 2014?"
'Cause even though it's a giant cliche a new year is always a decent reason to stop & reflect on yr life and where you want to go and etc
and I always try to take some time to think about wtf I want to do with myself.
To be honest, I'm working on being more positive.
But not in that fake way. I hate that shit.
That "like omg you guys it's SO. GREAT. HAHAHAHAHAHA OMG"
bullshitty way.
Fuck those chicks.
(and it's always chicks who act like that, isn't it?)
I'm talking about being like
"s'cool. I've got this, life.
I can handle this shit."
I'm going to do my best to not stress the f out when life gets tough
to channel my inner rock like Adam would do
and enjoy the fuck out of it.
Little boy who fell down in the street
I'm so glad we didn't hit you
As we drove along the super-icy
Frozen
Street to our destination.
I'm so thankful that your little
Four or five year old self
Bundled up in a black n red snowsuit
Got up quickly
And that our brakes worked like they should.
Your useless father should know better
Than to run across the street on a green light
(Especially in this weather)
And to run ahead of his little kids
Making them cross on their own.
Hopefully today taught him a lesson.
But somehow I doubt it.
Got an odd email just now
From someone I haven't talked to in a long time.Someone who used to be a big part of my life and influenced me in many ways.
Looking back I can safely say these experiences (in the long run) taught me the kind of person I'd rather not be
fixated on money
close-minded
shallow
the list goes on
and we had a huge falling out a few years ago due to a sketchy and poorly handled situation.
I blew up.
I told them how I felt and left it at that. In the years since I haven't thought much about them
and when I do, it's through the grapevine and usually a story so ridiculous that I sigh, roll my eyes and think
thank god I don't talk to them anymore!
But I've been sitting here for the past hour or so staring at my screen
typing,
trying to figure out how to say what I want to say without sounding
callous
cold
and downright mean
because in the end, as it turns out
letting go is harder than I thought.
Happy 2014 darlings
2013 was a big year for yr girl and I spent NYE celebrating it in the best was possible -surrounded by amazing, lovely people. I drank too much sparkling wine, ate too many nachos, killed my feet dancing to great music, and managed to drag my tired self into the office today because (gasp) I missed being here while I was away on vacation.
Which was the biggest surprise of all.
Considering that I was unemployed for a good chunk of 2013, and the stress of getting a job that was only part-time, finding a new job, getting laid off from that job less than a month after starting with no explanation as to why and feeling so utterly hopeless -probably more so than I've ever felt- being able to roll into my work every day and spend my workday with really great people doing challenging and interesting things feels like such a stroke of luck that sometimes I wonder how I finagled my way to where I am.
Reading everyone else's posts it seems like 2013 was a bit tough for all of us.
Character building, if you will.
It's funny how a different number at the end of the calendar year gives us hope for something better. A chance to improve & get better.
We're kinda weird about time like that.
Either way, things are looking up for 2014 and I'm excited to get this party started.
Thanks, as always, for reading and hanging out on the internet with me. Happy 2014 to you!
xox yr girl Shaner
Which is better: Drive the movie or Drive the soundtrack?
We're watching the movie right now so I'll get back to you on the soundtrack part but so far it's pretty kickass.
I can tell I've been playing a lot of GTA 5 recently because at the beginning of the movie when Ryan Gosling was driving around listening to the police radio all I kept thinking was
it's a shame he couldn't see their radars right now.
I've been playing so much of it because we've been on Christmas vacation which basically has resulted with a lot of drinking with my friends, sleeping in, going to the gym, reading a few books I've been meaning to get around to, and playing a lot of video games because it's fucking cold outside.
Tomorrow is NYE as you all know and I should probably be reflecting on the past year and I probably will at some point
all the cool shit I did
the university I graduated from
the jobs I got, lost, and have now
the people in my life
but not right now because Ryan Gosling is being too dreamy.
Hello Christmas vacation
hello wrapping gifts
hello glass of wine
hello The Killers Christmas song
hello sleeping in
hello getting paid to eat too much, too drink too much
hello half-assing it at the gym in a couple of days
hello GTA 5
hello Dr. Who
hello book club book
hello more free time than I know what to do with.
Aww yisss.
Today is Brad Pitt's birthday. He's 50.
Which is both depressing and inspirational, because on one hand Brad Pitt is already 50, but on the other hand...
Damn. He still looks pretty fine for 50.
Giving men everywhere hope that if they're really lucky, and work hard, they can stay hot forever.
Or at least as long as they can afford to maintain their youthful vitality.
The thing I love about Brad Pitt isn't actually his fine, fine looks
(though those help)
but his serious acting chops. Looking over my list of most watched & loved movies it's not all that surprising that he's got a major role in a lot of them.
So in honour of his birthday here are my top 10 favourite Brad Pitt movies:
1. Fight Club
2. The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford
3. 12 Monkeys
4. The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
5. The Tree of Life
6. Se7en
7. Inglorious Basterds
8. Burn After Reading
9. Snatch
10. Interview with the Vampire
HBD Mr. Pitt!
