one of my profs has a beef with crows

January 12, 2012 - 5:08pm - by admin

he said this during a lecture once: let's talk seriously for a second about birth control for crows and yes it's weird and he's weird which is why his class is great, but he was talking about how crows are supersmart and wily and it worries him.

ever hear about those crows that use cars to crack nuts?

wtf is up with that?

there are lots of crows that hang around in my neighbourhood and some of them are downright intrusive. they'll hang around in front of our windows (we're on the 3rd floor) and yell at us or come right up to you while you're standing on the front stoop and give you mean crow cut-eye like they own the place.

personally they make me nervous, birds that are that smart are bound to figure it all out eventually.

I mean c'mon this crow figured out how to go tubing

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I can't always listen to the Arcade Fire

January 12, 2012 - 5:11am - by admin

it's not that I don't love them, I do. I love them like a fat kid loves cake. like sixteen year old girls love Justin Beiber. like Britney Spears loves Taco Bell. like Mitt Romney secretly loves universal health care and the gays.

it's that as a student I spend a lot of my time writing papers. a lot. more than I care to talk about on this here blog and since I have to spend so much time inside my own head working and re-working what I want to say as though I am a true, professional rhetor. as a result I usually write in complete silence so I can get my thoughts in order.

except when I listen to my two "paper soundtracks", The Social Network Soundtrack and for some reason The Suburbs by The Arcade Fire. don't ask me why because I'm not sure how it worked out that way for if I spend four hours writing a paper it means I'm either working in silence or have one or both of those albums on repeat/rotation.

I don't get it, either.

the problem is that because I always listen to The Suburbs when I'm writing papers when I listen to it in a non-paper writing situation I'm brought back to the hours I spent sloughing through Heidegger, lying through my teeth in my man-hating sociology class, or perfecting my papers in my English classes.

not stuff I want to be thinking about in my hours outside of campus.

but Alyson I hear you saying there's more than one Arcade Fire album, you dummy and I'll say yes I know but The Suburbs is their best in my opinion even though I have much love for Neon Bible it just isn't as polished or as catchy or as awesome so it's not the same.

it doesn't get as much rotation as The Suburbs and as a result I'm stuck thinking about being in school, at school, and working on papers for school which sometimes is like agony for me because I just want to get the fawk out of there sometimes, you know?

but I keep listening to it because it's so good.

in fact I'm listening to it right now, as I'm writing this.

and now I'll go to bed thinking about Kierkegaard. damn.

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you know it's true

January 11, 2012 - 11:32pm - by admin

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at first glance I thought this chick was me

January 10, 2012 - 9:09pm - by admin

but I can't speak Japanese

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here is what being a Rhetoric student has taught me

January 10, 2012 - 5:19pm - by admin

nothing I ever say will convince you and I'll talk to you till I'm blue in the face but even if you say
okay Alyson, I agree with you
you probably won't because though my job is to convince you almost nobody is ever truly convinced
which makes me sad.

everyone is always arguing with each other, which means we're having an argument right now and we don't even realize it
you're probably saying
stfu Alyson and get on with the post
and I'll say
okay just this once
because I don't want to fight anymore.
let's not fight, okay?

everything I say to you will fade & become irrelevant
which is the worst for a writer because we like to trick ourselves that our words are Dickens in waiting, but rhetoric is limited to the language of the day and what I say now may not even make sense in 10, 20, 30 years
I'll be an old lady and whippersnappers won't care what any of us had to say about anything
kids these days.

everyone can do rhetoric
so why am I studying it?
to do it better than you?
can I?
who knows, it's all subjective
so I'll never know.
damn.

mostly I've learned rhetoric can't solve all of our problems
which comes back to nobody being convinced by anyone else
so we only use rhetoric when we know we can persuade other people
so am I persuading you, now?
or are you still mad at me from before?

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had to go outside tonight

January 10, 2012 - 5:15am - by admin

the weather called to me

it said

"it's above zero in January, if you stay inside you're an idiot"

so we set out in search of a good cup of coffee

and played around on a bridge shaped like a penis

in the middle of the city.

over a river not even half-frozen

we watched the ice slide by beneath us

and pretended like we'd never been scared of falling in.

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Hip Hop Sunday #26 Cadence Weapon - Baby I'm Yours ft Shad

January 8, 2012 - 5:56pm - by admin

it's back after an extended holiday hiatus

with a live vid for y'all

so live, laugh, love & listen

and enjoy your Hip Hop Sunday

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feels like it hasn't been Saturday in forever

January 7, 2012 - 3:10pm - by admin

legitimately Saturday, I mean

sleeping in & rolling over & cuddling Tyrone for an hour Saturday

making home-made baked eggs with coffee Saturday

sitting on The Internet for no reason Saturday

taking the morning slow Saturday

feels so good.

tonight there's a Jets game

which usually I don't care about

but we're going to Yellow Dog with Will

and I'm going to inhale spinach dip & yell my heart out

cuz when you watch sports you gotta yell

even if you don't care who wins in the end.

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baby you know I love Fridays

January 6, 2012 - 8:14pm - by admin

especially when you're a workin' girl like me
spending my day teaching excel to seniors like a boss
and bringing home the bacon

cause when you spend all week
takin names & poppin (Tylenol Extra Strength) caps
eventually you've gotta make a break for it

this weekend's going to be all about relaxing
chilling with Tyrone and some friends
having some drinks & watching sports (who knew?)
and getting my groove on

but I'll still come back and blog for you, baby
because I love ya
and I know you want some 'o this

so make the best of your two days off
see a movie, wash your car, eat an entire pizza
spend some time with your friends
and someone you love

just make sure you enjoy it

happy weekend

Shaner out.

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my best job ever

January 5, 2012 - 9:41pm - by admin

though I didn't realize it at the time
was in a video game store

retail really sucks
but working in a video game store is pretty sweet

I worked with cool people
and got to talk about something I loved all day
we had midnight launches
and people got all crazy around christmas
it was super fun

but of course I was young
and stupid
and totally didn't realize what a jackpot I'd hit

because I was the girl in the video game store

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