May 2014

I'm not the nicest girl

- by admin

in fact, most people would call me a lot of other things instead and depending on the person, circumstance and words used I might be inclined to agree with them.

I don't pretend to be anything other than what I am.

I haven't blogged at length about my breakup because while it was okay to share the life that I shared with someone else, it's not nearly as nice to share yr life when they're not really a part of it anymore.

Besides, how do you frame the process of untangling two people who spent years stitching themselves together?

Should you, even?

I don't know. I've never done this before.

Breaking up is hard. It's the hardest thing that I've ever done.

It's so easy to get wrapped up in the public drama of breaking up but at the end of the day you're just two people who loved each other once

or might still love each other but can't make it work

or just don't love each other enough anymore

or whatever

who have to try and navigate the disgusting, awful, nasty, rotten, dirty business that is breaking up.

It's awful, and I know that it's far from over.

But I'll still be here at the end of it.

I hope you will, too.

xox

yr girl Shaner

Tags: Life Thoughts

comments 

She is like a lioness and wolf all alike and she bears mighty teeth

- by admin

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The title of this post is a line from the song 'Eurydice' by The Mariachi Ghost, who played an amazing (free!) show at Shannon's last Friday night.

Yes, their faces are all decorated à la Día de Muertos-style.

Yes, that's an amazingly talented dancer in the front.

Yes, you should definitely go see them.

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(
Obligatory food pr0n post from my brunch date with some lovely ladies on Saturday. Omg The Don's menu is amazing)

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Saturday I went on the loveliest little date to Across the Board, the hippest new board game café in Winnipeg.

Not only is the decor super sharp (I love clean, white walls) but their board game selection is insane (and well-organized to boot)!

We managed to score a table right at the front by the big picture window, and as we were laying out our tiles for Forbidden Island Olaf (one of the owners) came up and introduced himself to us and took a few moments to chat about the game.

Naturally I had to throw down that I'd watched Wil Wheaton play it on Tabletop, so I think I earned myself some nerdy cred.

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In the eve we caught The Xanadoods at Le Garage Café and watched the best cover of The Beastie Boy's "Intergalactic" ever. You should have been there.

Sunday was tons of rain, The Sopranos, and checking out The Grand Budapest Hotel at Grant Park Theatre.

Perfect. Weekend.

Tags: Life Winnipeg

The Return of #HipHopSunday

- by admin



slept in till noon today because I was up late learning to swing dance

made a huge breakfast skillet that I ate from a small bowl

put up some Christmas lights even though it's nearly June

watched it rain, watched the sun come out, watched it rain again

brought back #HipHopSunday

because it feels like the right time.


Winnipeg vs Wildlife?

- by admin

It's no secret that I love this city. I go on at length about our potential, our charm, and the quality of the people who call Winnipeg "home." I truly believe that we are becoming a forward-thinking city filled with thoughtful, considerate, wonderful people.

However, there are instances which make me seriously doubt my optimistic view of my hometown.

I'm referring to an organization called the "Urban Goose Working Group" (mentioned on CJOB yesterday) who have been seeking out and destroying the eggs of Canada Geese in the Kenaston area for at least the past couple of years. Their actions are apparently spurred by the "safety issue" caused by the geese and their goslings in the area.

I'd like to take a moment to lay out what is actually happening here, in case you missed it:

People are actively going out of their way to find and destroy Canada Goose eggs.

What's even worse is that this is an effort coordinated and supported by not only the City of Winnipeg, but the Province of Manitoba as well as the Government of Canada. So all levels of government not only condone, but actually encourage this utterly barbaric practice.

It is shameful and disgusting, and I am appalled that my local government feels that this is an appropriate step to take.

There are multiple options which could serve as much more humane alternatives: we could install caution signs to notify motorists that this is a high traffic area for geese, put up snow fencing to deter the geese, we could slow the fuck down as we barrel along in our SUVs to go to the outlet mall, we could do as  many countries in Europe have done and build wildlife bridges  over highways to facilitate exactly the sort of issues that we're running into, or we could stop the insanity that is urban sprawl and stop building on the nesting grounds that these birds have been using for countless generations.



Because that's the thing: citizens are complaining about the inconvenience that the geese are causing them, though they chose to move to a newly-developed (and in many cases, totally unnecessary) suburban wasteland and now they have to interact and deal with (gasp! Horror!) wildlife that has been there long before our shovels broke the soil.

Here in Winnipeg we're trying to paint ourselves as a forward-thinking city, and while I know for a fact that there are many people in Winnipeg who truly are, we can't make a statement like that while continuing to completely disregard our wildlife simply for the sake of our own creature comforts.

It speaks volumes about the rampant levels of self-entitlement in our society, and it's time that the City of Winnipeg and our Provincial and Federal governments started acting a like the "responsible governments" that they claim to be.

With this in mind, I urge you to write to your City Councillor, your MLA, and your MP and ask them to stop supporting this awful practice.

This weekend was happy, then it was sad

- by admin



which is basically how all of my days have been for the past few weeks. A roller coaster of elation and fun and then sad sad sad then good again.

Life takes some adjusting to, sometimes.

But we push ever forward (it's not like we have any choice).

Anyway.

Went for dinner at Billabong after work and had passable mussels and decent calamari and not the greatest selection of beer which led to a singular beer with dinner and then the decision to toss back a couple of road rockets with a handsome man in a back alley seemed only natural.

I managed to make it in time for my community gardening orientation which I was scared about going to because, y'know, road rockets, but there was a dude who was clearly super wasted and kept getting flak from the dude running the orientation so I felt better.

Now I'm spending time in my apartment for the first time in over two weeks which I expected to stress me out and make me feel sad but it hasn't. It's been nice to be in my own home and totally alone and sipping Brazillionaire tea from DavidsTea and to cuddle with my main kitty, Toulouse.

Even if he does ruin all my good wesside photos.

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I just want back in your head

- by admin



is a line from a song by Tegan & Sara off ‘The Con’ which was released in 2007 during which time I was crazy for a boy who lived in a bad neighbourhood and drove a silly silver car and used to make comic book jokes that always went over my head.

One day after driving around for a while we went to a park and, because it was fashionable at the time, I was wearing this ridiculous ankle-length hippie-style skirt which faded from white to sky blue at the bottom but was totally brown by the end of this story.

Which is that we decided to roll down a giant hill together.

Which, like all bad ideas, seemed like a good idea at the time.

Turns out at the bottom of the hill the grass wasn't nearly as soft and dry as the grass at the top of the hill.

Turns out that, in fact, the grass at the bottom of the hill had a secret layer of mud which

naturally

yr girl rolled straight into like a pro.

Completely covered in mud, white/blue hippie skirt totally ruined.

Of course he managed to totally miss the giant mud puddle and was totally fine

which annoyed me to no end until he walked over to me and picked me up, totally covering his clothes in mud as well

and carried me back to the car.

As we drove back to his place while our fingers played along to the piano in this song on the dashboard and

later, once we were clean, on his headboard.
Tags: Pink

Can't speak, so tired

- by admin

but damn was last night worth it.

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After cycling home (!!!) after work, I hit up Brian Bowman's mayoral campaign launch after work which was amazing. It was so cool to see so many like-minded people come together and get excited about creating a positive change for my city
(which you guys know that I love & adore).

I'm honestly so excited to see a candidate who feels so passionately about making my city a better place. I feel disheartened with municipal politics pretty frequently because I don't see any long-term vision or planning being done, and it was refreshing to hear someone speak who seems to care about the same issues as I (and, apparently, many more people) do.

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Later on in the eve was Abstract Artform's show with Animal Nation at Le Garage Café which I'm glad I caught because those boys are talented as f.

Also Abstract happens to be one of the sweetest guys ever and it was lovely to get to see him for the first time in ages (also: I forgive you for your awkward tweet!)

Proof yr girl was there (in the front row, 'natch):
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It's almost time for the long weekend -just one more day! Here's what I have planned:
Wine
Poetry
Nachos
RuPaul's Drag Race
Laughs
Grrlfrienns
Hearts
Biking like a mofo
Gardening
ADVENTURES

Can't wait!
Tags: Audio

I haven't been honest so here's what's up

- by admin


for the past while

days, weeks, months, maybe

I haven't been myself.

I've been a shadow of my former self due to heartache and confusion and betrayal and all of that good shit that makes you
lie awake in the dark at night
feel heartsick all day every day
write secret poems and flowery letters that you burn immediately
and pore over
every word
text
syllable
and, inevitably
each silence
until you drive yourself mad with it.

We become so wrapped up in the versions of ourselves that we feel that we need to be
(or remain)
that we lose sight of what can, might, maybe make us happy
or, in some cases (like mine)
we try to avoid and run away from our problems and the difficult decisions that need to be made

until we start hurting other people.

which is basically the opposite of what you ever
ever
wanted to do.

And for the past while I've felt almost utterly unable to create anything of value.

Just broken words, broken promises, broken hearts.

Until today.

Maybe it's the text message conversation that I had
or that walk in the rain
crying sitting in the middle of all of my posessions
or the crepes with way too much butter
listening to The Smiths
or just sitting here and writing in a more open and freeing way than I've done in months

I'm finally starting to feel like myself again.

Paper Moon

- by admin



First fell in love with this song when I was living on Strathcona

in a house with too many rooms

which only accentuated how lonely I was at the time.

It's easy to fill a room with the sound of your own voice, or

alternatively

the sound of nothing at all.

It was a weird time.

Kind of like how right now is a weird time.

So it feels fitting that I should find myself listening to it again.

Sometimes you write for other people

- by admin


Sometimes you write to other people.

Sometimes you're writing for yourself.

Sometimes you slam poems into yr iPhone while folding marketing materials at work.

Sometimes you scribble them onto papers and let them go in the wind off the Osborne bridge on yr way home.

Sometimes you hope they reach the right people.

Sometimes they do.

Sometimes they don't.

Sometimes you wish they wouldn't.

Sometimes you wish they hadn't.

Sometimes (most of the time) they're all we've got.

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