The Uniter Fiver

December 18, 2013 - 4:54am - by admin

Local university mag The Uniter is holding a competition called The Uniter Fiver where you can go n vote for your favourite artist ad they win stuff (I think?) and get some much-deserved local cred.

I'm lucky enough to know not just one but two of the super-talented guys who submitted videos and even though you can only vote for one I'm gonna plug 'em both anyway, because they're both brilliant and they both deserve it:



"Crows" is a collaboration between Co-pilot, Mumbles and my friend Abstract Artform aka Shea M.

I met Shea through my friend Colin a few years back on a patio at Beachcomber's. In between charming all the waitresses and probably the waiters too he totally won us over as well.

After we'd had our fill of slushy drinks & beers he insisted that we go to karaoke at Saffron's on Corydon where we had one of the best, most random and entertaining nights ever.

In addition to being a sweet and unbelievably genuine person, Shae is also super-talented, and you should definitely vote for him.



Aband*nthecar is a one-man synthpop band aka my very dear friend John L. I don't know much about his music so here's his description of his setup for this video: I use a Boss RC-300 looping pedal with a single drum sample, the Little Phatty mainly for the arpeggiator, and the MicroKorg for the vocoder and leads.

I first met John several years ago when he was dating Kat, who is my best ladybro.

We were all at Wine Fest and ran into each other about 2/3's of the way through the night and even though everyone else decided to go off in search of more, differenter wines, John and our friend Teri and I decided to stand around the port table for close to an hour and drink there.

This move has basically become a staple of every Wine Fest since, and with good reason (port is great).

In addition to being one of my best friends and one of the cleverest and most outrageous people you could hope to meet, John writes some of the most charming and catchy tunes I know and you should definitely vote for him.



I don't actually know anyone from Bear Clones but they get a special spot in this post because of this cover of Faust from the epic 80's rock opera that almost nobody knows about Phantom of the Paradise.

I can't in good conscience tell you to vote for them since I'm plugging my friends, but I highly recommend you check out their stuff and definitely recommend that you watch Phantom of the Paradise.

Happy voting, and good luck boys!

xox yr Shaner

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Fred Penner played a show at the WECC this past weekend

December 16, 2013 - 6:32pm - by admin

One of the best things about being born in the late 80's is that it was a really good time for children's programming. I grew up with wicked shows like Under the Umbrella Tree, Lamb Chop's Play-Along, and Fred Penner's Place which was a show that ran for a decade or so on the CBC.

I always wanted to crawl through that goddamn log like he did at the beginning of each episode. What a boss.

What was really cool about growing up with Fred Penner's Place is that he's actually from my city, so pretty much everyone I know has either seen or talked to him at some point, or knows someone who dated one of his kids or something like that.

There's even a small local tumblr that features people taking pictures with him in the background

because people from Winnipeg are sneaky like that and we really, really love Fred Penner.

Anyway in addition to other shows he does throughout the year he always comes back to Winnipeg to do two sing-along shows each year right before Christmas

-one for kids during the day and one for us nerds at night.

Tthe kids show is probably just the same songs, but the evening show must be way more fun because we're all drunk and belting out the words to the songs that we thought we'd forgotten years ago.

Plus it's super cool to have omg Fred Penner play the song you requested

(even if we all know we're all secretly there to hear him play his version of The Cat Came Back, but never mind that)

because there's something about sitting with yr friends drinking beer singing along to songs you learned when you were 5 that just melts yr heart

even when it's -35 outside and everything else is frozen solid.

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This is the best poster for an event in Winnipeg right now

November 15, 2013 - 2:14am - by admin

This poster was made by local hilarious badass Tim Co-Op and I jacked it from his Facebook Instagram feed because it's fucking badass and hilarious and I needed to share it with the world.

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Drunk girl in the Exchange

November 5, 2013 - 5:37am - by admin

I first saw you on Albert and McDermot

while Tyrone was taking photos of the storefronts of Rhymes with Orange and Tiny Feast

and I was standing by holding his papers and humming a song by The Weakerthans.

You were walking up the street in a tiny dress and a blazer

holding your phone in one hand

and a glass full of some sort of drink in the other

my hunch is a long island tea, but it's anyone's guess.

You walked by and kept stumbling on the cobblestone streets

and I felt compelled to say something to you

but I didn't because mostly we're taught to keep to ourselves

lest we bring trouble or interfere.

However

as I watched you stumble away down the block

and then across McDermot

almost falling twice

I thought "fuck convention" and started to run after you.

By the time I reached you, you were already a block away

by King and Notre Dame

and I sprinted around the corner and shouted EXCUSE ME at you.

I think I scared you but you stopped.

I asked if you were okay and you drunkenly said you were

even though your dress was half-tucked up and you'd lost that glass somewhere and I could smell the booze on you

and I thought to myself

that you would have looked really professional if your dress wasn't so short & your little boots were so high.

But that's besides the point.

I asked if you wanted me to call you a cab and you said no

so you said you would call your boyfriend and I said I'd wait with you and you said I didn't have to

but I did

and when he didn't pick up you got up and straightened out your skirt and said

I AM TOTALLY OKAY

and sprinted across the intersection and through an empty parking lot before I knew what was happening.

I yelled after you

where are you going?

and you said

HOME.

I hope you made it back okay

to wherever your home is

because I'm still worried about you

dashing around by yourself in your high heels in the cold.

So if you read this, please let me know you're all right.

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Les Jupes did a killer Loft Session with Manitoba Music that you should

September 17, 2013 - 5:27pm - by admin

Your eyes and ears will thank you.

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Throwback Thursday: Winnipeg is the best place to be from

July 18, 2013 - 6:25pm - by admin

which is something you don't hear often
not even from people from winnipeg
but it's true.

we're a big city still trying to be a small town
stuck being a small town with big-city problems
with shitty weather half the year
and a seething inferiority complex
in the middle of nowhere
(literally)
and we spend more time slamming
our sketchy mayor
our shitty transit system
and our winters
than saying good things about anything.

but our little frozen hovel
stuck out in the prairie
like a defiant 'fuck you' to common sense
breeds
amazing artists, writers, and most of all musicians
and a complex, intricate love/hate relationship
with the place we call 'home'.

this town makes you nicer
you smile and say 'hello' and make small talk in line at tim horton's
help out your neighbours or that guy
whose car got snowed in up the block
not because you want someone to reward you for doing it
but because it's the nice thing to do, dammit.

being stuck in the middle of the country
makes us much more appreciative
of what other cities have
oh you have efficient mass transit?
oh your skyline has buildings in it?
and up until a few weeks ago
oh you have an IKEA?

its size makes us all connected
everyone's had too much to drink at the king's head
gone to osborne village on canada day
seen a show at the west end
had a greasy burger at blondie's
been harassed the twoonie lady downtown
and we've all suffered from
missing a bus that came thirty seconds too early
or getting stuck outside waiting for a bus that came twenty minutes late
trying to strike a balance between two options
which are never in your favour.

living here makes you hard
we're sarcastic and cynical and critical
of everything
especially ourselves
and especially our hometown
which is why when someone else makes fun of it
they can fuck off
because that's our job
and unless you've spent your life
shovelling snow and dealing with overnight parking bans
hanging out at the toad people-watching on the weekends
driving to grand beach during the summer
and
complaining about all the things you could do if only
you were somewhere else
you haven't earned the right to bash winnipeg.

because you don't love it like we do
especially not as as much as when we say

"I fucking hate this town".

** thanks to @nicolebarry204 for reminding me that this post existed -it's still true!

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Almost time for Folk Fest

July 10, 2013 - 7:38pm - by admin

I've been listening to this song (my Folk Fest jam) nonstop.

I've made a million lists in the past few days.

Packed and re-packed my stuff because I'm cray.

I have all the essentials: emerald green fleece cloak for nighttime. Face paint for daytime. Beer. Snacks.

I also volunteer with a few friends which is radder than it sounds. In exchange for getting up early and walking around for a few hours for three days of the festival I get to camp, see all the shows, and eat as much amazing food as I want. I'll share the food later if I remember. It's that good that I want to brag about being able to eat it 'fo free.

Tonight after work I'm biking my fine ass home and then Ty's driving me out to Bird's Hill where I'll meet up with the handful of friends who are already there and I have a whole night/day/night to party before I have to be responsible for my volunteer shift.



I'm stoked about this because last year I didn't have that extra day to hang. I mean, it was great and all, but having a day to myself will be the bee's knees.

Oh also all of these people are playing and I'm gonna see 'em (plus more):

Holy shit this weekend's gonna be good.

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Sometimes you just gotta do it right

June 12, 2013 - 3:16am - by admin

and by that I mean bike yr ass to almost the suburbs to try Blondie's, which is this infamous burger joint in Winnipeg. It's also been featured on You Gotta Eat Here which is how some non-prairie peeps know about it.

I'd never been there myself but I'd always heard stories about the crazy lady who runs it. It's just her in the kitchen by herself and apparently she'll scream at you and kick you out if yr a dick or you pisser off which both terrified and intrigued the shit outta me.

Luckily she has her rules posted all around the joint so you know what not to do.


The most famous(est) part of going to Blondie's besides the lady who runs it is the sheer massive size of the burgers they offer. I stayed safe with the 1/8 pound burger and even that was almost too much with a poutine.



I wish I could go back and eat this right now.





They also offer huge milkshakes which were a little too rich for my blood.

Yes that's also a pun about ice cream.



When we got there it was super packed so we had to wait a while, and as we were leaving the owner apologized to us for making us wait which kinda disappointed me since I was hoping she'd tell us to fuck off or something.

I briefly considered saying something rude back to see what would happen but then I saw her kneading this massive pile of hamburger patty in the air I decided I'd better not.

That lady could have totally kicked my ass.

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Sam Katz & Friends vs. Gordon Warren

June 1, 2013 - 5:12pm - by admin

A few people have asked for my opinion on the recent article published in the Winnipeg Free Press concerning local blogger Gordon Warren, who is being sued by local media group Direct Focus Marketing, as well as Sandy and Robert Shindleman, owners of Shindico,

Non-Winnipeggers interested in what I'm talking about can read the Free Press article here, but here's a snippet to give you some background:

The injunction was sought by Direct Focus Marketing Communications Inc., its owner Mark Hofer and the firms’ employees – all whom were named by Warren in a recent blog post on a move at city hall to sell off and lease out civic golf courses.

Direct Focus had been hired to conduct a media campaign to promote the sale of John Blumberg golf course and a 20-year lease for four other civic course. The campaign appeared to be spearheaded by an independent community group calling itself Responsible Winnipeg, but it turned out that group was the creation of one of Mayor Sam Katz’s political advisory bodies.

In case you missed that last bit, let me spell it out for you: our mayor ran a campaign without using City of Winnipeg logos to try and further his own political agenda and someone called him on it.

Important to remember: they're not going after him for libel, they're going after him for defamation of character because what Gordon Warren is saying is true.

Anyway, onto why you're here. You asked for my opinion, here it is:

I haven't read the blog posts in question, because due to the recent ruling they're unavailable on his blog, but from what I can tell everything Warren has been doing -bringing light to a shady political campaign, criticizing our mayor and his friends, and generally being politically active online- is completely within his rights as a Canadian citizen, and should be protected under Section 2 of the Canadian Charter of Rights and Freedoms.

But you know what really bugs me about this whole thing?

We have people publishing much more malicious, hateful and half-true stories in our local tabloid, the Winnipeg Sun, every day. I'm speaking in particular about Tom Brodbeck, who uses his articles in the Sun and his blog (which I refuse to link to) to shamelessly criticize anyone who politically opposes him and his masters. I have heard more vitriolic commentary coming from this one "journalist" than I care to remember, yet to my knowledge nobody has taken him to court on Greg Selinger (our Premier)'s behalf -which is exactly what is happening with Warren. Sam Katz isn't suing him, but all of his buddies are.

A lot of people are saying "what did Warren say that was so upsetting?" and I think we're asking the wrong questions. Instead, we should be asking ourselves "how is suing someone over talking shit about you on the internet a reflection of your character?", "are these the kinds of people that we want running our city?" and, perhaps more importantly "is this how we treat people in our society who expose their dirty little secrets?"

**Alyson Shane is a blogger chick from Winnipeg and not a journalist. FYI.

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May Long

May 20, 2013 - 11:26pm - by admin

Okay so it rained all weekend (of course) and was windy and cold and there was still a ton of ice on the lake, but we made the best of it and had a blast anyway.






It just made sense to go out and climb around on the ice before it got too dark. The mist rolled in and the rain started and it was intense.
Hope your long weekend was just as wonderfully relaxing and entertaining as mine was.

Can you believe we have to go back to work tomorrow? Even though it's been raining for four days it still feels like the weekend just started. Sigh.

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