home sick watching eat pray love

January 21, 2013 - 10:20pm - by admin

don't ask why. I don't know why. I just have a throbbing headache and pressure behind my eyes and a scratch in my throat and Ileft work because I was useless there and came home and decided

I want to watch a clichéd movie with julia roberts in it and sip tea in my yoga pants

even though I don't really like julia roberts.

she's pretty but she's got a bit wide mouth and large teeth and she reminds me of a slightly calmer less neurotic jennifer aniston, who I can't stand. but she always seems to be in movies that I like such as erin brockovich, ocean's eleven, charlie wilson's war, pretty woman, and stepmom (yes). she looks smokin' for 45 though so I'll give her that.

it's an okay movie so far thought I guess, better than some of the other feel-good chick flicks out there though that might just be because it takes place in some exotic locations and the cinematography and close-up shots of food are pretty nice to look at.



she just turned down skinny dipping with a really hot australian with a six-pack in the ocean and while I guess that's supposed to show that she's growing up and 'discovering herself' that was a pretty dumb move if you ask me. though I guess she'll be making out with javier bardem soon enough.

oh he just crashed her pad and brought her some 'hangover cure' stuff which means he's definitely getting some julia roberts action later. nothing says "I'm a keeper" like hangover food, for example once early on in our relationship I got stupidly drunk at a show and the next morning tyrone went out into the cold winter to bring me greasy a&w breakfast food and orange juice which solidified what a gentleman he is in my mind.

so javier bardem is basically doing a bali-type version of that I guess.

now they're talking about durians and javier bardem is all "don't eat those they taste like dirty feet" which apparently is completely accurate. I see them all the time when we go to the asian grocery and I always pick them up and think "today is the day I eat the stinky fruit" but honestly I'm scared.

this is what wikipedia has to say about durian stink:

The edible flesh emits a distinctive odour that is strong and penetrating even when the husk is intact. Some people regard the durian as pleasantly fragrant; others find the aroma overpowering and revolting. The smell evokes reactions from deep appreciation to intense disgust, and has been described variously as almonds, rotten onions, turpentine, raw sewage, and gym socks. The odour has led to the fruit's banishment from certain hotels and public transportation in southeast Asia.

so far that has been the only time I've felt like I 'connect' with the movie, because saying "I want to spend a year travelling in XYZ countries and have it comped by my work" is just stating the obvious. otherwise it's a lot of self-indulgence that is nice to think about and imagine but feels kind of far away, which is maybe why people like the book/movie so much. it's fun to imagine.

except now the movie is over and she and javier bardem sailed off into the sunset which just

ruined it all.

whatever mild enjoyment or entertainment I may have been getting has been ruined by the fact that julia roberts just travelled all across the world and did all of this 'self-discovery' only to have a freak-out fight on a beach and then make up and sail off into the sunset. how clichéd. for real.

it's spoiled my mild enjoyment of the film so much that for a second I considered scrapping this post and denying that I even watched it in the first place.

but then I couldn't tell you how it's mediocre and best and tries too hard to be one of those movies you watch with red wine with your best girlfriends after a breakup to make yourself feel better.

though it's drastically better than 'he's just not that into you', so I guess that's a plus.

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Hip Hop Sunday #61 Kendrick Lamar - Swimming Pools (Drank)

January 20, 2013 - 4:49pm - by admin

there are only a few things that are appropriate to do in this kind of cold

sleep in

play video games

or board games

drink beer

eat snacks

and

spend time with lovely people

(though that's always a good choice)

yesterday we were able to do all of those things.

so, a successful weekend, I think.

happy hip hop sunday.

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too cold to blog

January 19, 2013 - 7:21pm - by admin

better luck tomorrow, I'm off to hide under blankets and play Donkey Kong Country 2

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George Carlin always knows just what to say

January 18, 2013 - 11:03pm - by admin

to express exactly how I feel

because, yeah, fuck lance armstrong

I'm sick of hearing about him.

anyway

I really admired george. still do, even though he's gone

that guy made a living trolling the world, and was good at it.

which is a rare thing, let me tell you.

as a recovering troll (it's true)

nothing gets under my skin more than internet trolls

because they're never arguing valid, well-articulated points

unlike a good real-life troll. that's a skill.

as @Gramiq put it:



which is why george carlin was such a genius.

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I can't write today

January 18, 2013 - 2:29am - by admin

which is bullshit because I have a ton of unimportant things to talk about

like how I had coffee with one of the former mayors of my city (the only female one, look it up)
and she said that she thought I would really go far
that she thought my project was "really important work"
told me in an email after we parted ways that
she feels proud of me even though she doesn't really know me at all

which was really nice.

we finally watched solaris so I can stop bringing it up
protip
watch it all in one go or at max two
because by the third try everything's all disjointed and
probably not as creepy as it would have been
if you'd just stayed awake the whole time
dummy.

we're making a snack which is a pita pizza
it's got sundried tomatoes and cheese on it
and nothing else
because it's fucking cold outside and there is
zero
chance in hell that I'm bundling up to go to the store

or that I'm going to make tyrone do it
(sometimes I can be nice)

my friend @cenquist and a few others
(@adriantrimble @benquist @brennanlumsdon to name a few)
made a short film during the summer called
The Pint of Justice
in which yr hero and tyrone make cameo appearances
(and you can watch at the end of this post)
where upon watching
I learned that
watching myself
touching adrian's chin makes me feel uncomfortable.

any other day I could have probably pulled all of these into
at least
a somewhat entertaining post
(or several!)
but not today

it's just one of those nowriting days

which are basically worse than anything when yr a writer

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I think Tyrone is mad at me

January 17, 2013 - 11:03pm - by admin

why else would he have not told me that the men without hats have apparently gotten back together and released a track?!

I would have never guessed the band that are responsible for the safety dance would come up with something like this

it sounds like a mash-up of music from every video game I've ever played and the 80's

and god damn, despite my better judgement

I kinda love it.

(on a side note

tyrone, are we having a fight I don't know about?)

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tragic kingdom

January 16, 2013 - 4:44pm - by admin

when I was kid I lived on this really weird street. it sort of acted like the connecting street to two major streets, main and mcphillips, and on either side of the street there were these huge fields that have since been developed into neighbourhoods with ugly stucco houses but when I was a kid there were fields.

we also had ditches in front of our houses and one side had these shallow ditches, which was the side that I lived on in our old side-by-side house with the green chain link fence out front and on the other side there were really deep ditches with wooden bridges that crossed them and were way cooler.



I was always kind of jealous that our side-by-side house wasn't on the side with the deep bridges that were good for catching tadpoles in, instead of our shallow ditches that just got your feet wet when you forgot to check in the long grass to see if there was a puddle or not before stepping.

my friend trista who lived in one of the side-by-sides across the street with the big ditch and in the summer when we weren't catching tadpoles with home-made nets that we would dangle from the bridge we would sit on her concrete front step and listen to the boombox.

she was a few years older than me and I totally looked up to her.

she had way better taste in music and always got cool cds and had way more nintendo 64 games.

she also showed me how to use a ouija board and to draw and play You Don't Know Jack on her brother's pc.

one of the summers in the late 90's when I was probably 9 or 10 and she was probably 12 or so we would sit on her concrete steps on in the cool grass and bake in the summer sun and listen to tragic kingdom on her boombox.

most of the music I heard was junky old stuff on my parents radio and tragic kingdom is the first album I remember hearing and thinking

omg this is really good

gwen stefani made no sense to me. she had weird-colored hair and wore strange clothes and her words tapped into this weird part of me that I didn't know was there. she confused me and I liked it and I must have driven trista nuts getting her to replay the album over and over.

this was around the time when all my friends were super into boy bands and I'd go to school and squeeeeeee over posters ripped out of Tiger Beat magazine of boys with their center-part haircuts but then I'd go over to tristas and listen to tragic kingdom and nevermind and clumsy and all these albums my other friends weren't listening to.

soon my family moved into a different neighbourhood without a field and ditches and more ugly stucco houses so I stopped going over there and summers with new music and boomboxes on the concrete step were over.

even though my friends in the new neighbourhood listened to cds on boom boxes and lay in the sun in our big backyards it wasn't the same. we listened to cheesy pop music and mainstream garbage and I didn't listen to that other type of music as often.

but sometimes at home I'd tune into muchmusic and watch the wedge and listen to the 'weird' music my friends weren't into.

because nobody listened to tragic kingdom.

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okay so we didn't watch solaris

January 16, 2013 - 5:00am - by admin

it's my fault, as are most things. I admit.

I'm working on this huge project of sorts which is sucking up a lot of time now that I'm back in school and tomorrow I'm having a pre-interview coffee with one of the former mayors of the city which I'm a bit freaked out about, honestly.

I'm sure she's super nice and she'll be charming and hilarious and I'll be this weird nervous wreck all hopped-up on coffee because we're meeting at Starbucks and their coffee makes me sick to my stomach, a little bit.

doing work for this project has been eating up a lot of my time but it's going way better than expected and I think my prof is impressed with it, which is always a bonus.

still doesn't make me less nervous to start interviewing people, though.

so basically I put off watching solaris because we needed to clean the apartment, you guys, and I needed to make sure I had all my shit together for these interviews I have coming up for this project. by the time I was done it was like 10:30pm and tyrone was all

we can't watch solaris. we'll fall asleep and jason will yell at us on the internet more for falling asleep during solaris again.

which is probably true.

so we hung out in bed and tyrone fell asleep and I read more of ham on rye which is just, wow, so messed up.

weird thing is that I've been having amazing dreams after reading bukowski. not fucked-up weird things, but these ridiculous adventure dreams where I wake up fully refreshed and ready to take on the world because I just finished kicking ass in my dream.

you know what I mean.

usually in the mornings I tell tyrone what I've been dreaming about because he never remembers his dreams and I feel bad for him. sleeping is one of my favourite things to do, mostly because I have really intense dreams and I feel like he's missing out by not remembering them.

the problem with dreams is that they never make sense. like, ever. so he kinda rolls his eyes or makes a weird face and then leaves the room without saying anything.

I've thought about keeping a dream diary and maybe making a book out of the amalgamation of my stupid dreams and becoming a bazillionaire off the profits. I mean is twilight and 50 shades of grey can be bestsellers why can't my piece of crap novel?

but then I wouldn't have time to blog here because I'd be doing pressers and tours and stuff, so fuck that shit I guess.

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sometimes things are best said

January 16, 2013 - 2:58am - by admin

in every single language

converted back to english.

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tyrone and I are going to watch solaris tonight

January 14, 2013 - 8:57pm - by admin

which is dumb because this is the third time we've attempted to watch it but we keep getting tired. not because it's a bad movie -it's really good and pretty unsettling- but because we always try to watch it at the wrong time.

the first time was a while back. we'd decided to stay in and have a sexytime saturday night in. we made chicken stuffed somethingorother and pasta from de luca's and wine oh yes, wine.

and we made a picnic on the floor in the living room with pillows and lit only candles and it was really romantic and we had a good time eating dinner.

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