January 2013

eyes are the windows of the soul, I said casually

- by admin



and he stood in front of me and held me by my upper arms

came in close so our lips almost touched

even though we'd only just met

looked straight into my eyes and said

'so I'm looking into your soul right now?'

and I shivered

in that good way.


comments 

coffee shop boy from years back

- by admin

I met you one really really cold winter night. I was out with a friend and we were hiding from the cold while waiting to do something. see a play or a movie or some shit like that.

wait, no. I'm wrong.

we spent a lot of hours at that coffee shop over the course of a few years and that was a different boy and a different time.

this time we were talking about her girlfriend. we were talking about how she didn't know how to 'be' with her girlfriend because she loved her and wanted to be a lesbian but banging a chick just wasn't cutting it for her anymore and she was concerned. confused. sexually and otherwise, I guess. I was facing the coffee shop and I noticed you sitting there and you were looking at something. a book or a camera I think and I couldn't stop staring at you.

not because you were uberhot or really ugly or anything like that. you just looked interesting.



eventually we got up to leave and I mentioned you to my friend and she dared me to blow you a kiss through the window as we walked by which terrified me so of course I did it.

I tapped on the window by where you were sitting and winked and blew a kiss and felt like the biggest loser until you came outside to ask if I wanted to sit and talk with you so I did.

we hung out for a few hours and I drank two awful lattes while we were there and they were so sickeningly sweet that I wound up secretly throwing up in the bathroom. you probably didn't know that.

I hope you didn't.

I wound up bumping into you the following weekend at the same coffee shop while waiting for the same friend who was still having the same problem.

it surprised me, but I had hoped I would.

I'd spent a bunch of time on my hair before leaving the house; I was into wearing it half pulled back and wavy and was doing this stupid thing where I had all these tiny braids running through it. I wanted you to notice and you did, winding one through your fingers and making me shiver in a good way.

you bought me lunch and asked if we could get together sometime.

I said yes, of course. I tried to play it cool but I probably didn't. I never did. never do.

you kissed me and it started snowing.

that's one of the fonder memories I have of you.

welcome to my world

- by admin


sometimes all it takes is a youtube video

- by admin



to make you remember that you're probably not as smrt as you think you are.

post-weekend

- by admin


I can't write poetry

- by admin



if I could though I'd write one about Ford

cause as I slept on the couch today

sick, stuffed-up and generally feeling awful

little guy came and cuddled with me

all day

and didn't even get mad

when I coughed in his face by accident.

what a guy.

Hip Hop Sunday #62 Gang Starr - Moment of Truth

- by admin



probably one of my all-time favourite hip hop songs.

top-notch lyrics

& message

perfect for a cloudy, laid-back

hip hop sunday

enjoy it

xox.

just made a scene at work

- by admin


kinda.

one of the good things about my work is that I get to do a lot of cool stuff like go on lunch excursions and help throw massive 500-person events and bring in entertainers and stuff.

today we brought in a group of improv performers who would 'act out' a story that an audience member told. it's pretty cool, actually.

except when it's my turn.

most people I know wouldn't believe me but public speaking freaks me out.

especially when I'm unprepared.

(mostly when I'm unprepared)

like when I'm sitting in a room with twenty people and they're all urging me to tell a "funny story" and I'm trying to politely decline and they're all going

alyson yr so funny. tell us a funny story alyson.

fuck.

so on the spot I ramble some lame and completely unfunny story because who can come up with a funny story on the spot?

not me I tell you.

and halfway through I realize 'shit this isn't funny. this isn't even a good story'

and I feel the shakes and redness and wobbly voice kick in

and of course the woman running the improv group is doting on me because she can tell that I'm getting anxious and telling me what a good job I'm doing and

she keeps focusing on me and putting her hand on my shoulder which is making it worse because her weird clammy hand is on my skin and

they're going through the motions improv-ing this horrible story which is just making it worse because it's not funny and I can feel myself getting redder and redder and I'm playing with my rings and my fingernails and anything I can pick at or twist

and of course I can't just leave. getting up and walking out would just make it worse so I tell myself

just sit through it. it'll be over soon.

and then omg the woman is kneeling in front of me telling me how it's okay and how I'm 'such a sport' for sharing and just

no. fuck off. you're making it worse. go dote on someone else

I want to yell. but I don't because it's work and it's not polite to yell at the improv lady so I don't

I sit there twisting my ring and my hair and feeling my face flush bright red

waiting for this horrible experience to end.

now I remember why I hate improv.

life's all

- by admin



"I'm gonna stress you out today for no good reason!"

and I'm like

I found this awesome gif while trolling on the Internet

drinking coffee

listening to Chromatics

warm as fck

while it's -40 outside

so you can suck it

bitch.

you know I never liked modest mouse

- by admin



dude I dated a few years ago was super into them.

he used to play their cds in his car all the time.

it sucked because and he would always do super-sweet things like wake up early to pick me up and take me to work even when it was his day off.

but on the mornings he'd play modest mouse it was just ruined.

I know, I know. I should be thankful that he even went out of his way in the first place. and I was.

don't get me wrong.

but their music is so intrusive and annoying and it was really hard to have a conversation

with modest mouse blasting over everything I said

especially first thing in the morning.

it's important to pick the right music to listen to when you start yr day

I'd tell him

which is why I always pick something super upbeat.

a nice 90's playlist or cbc radio 3. y'know.

but this guy

his alarm in the mornings was the intro to chop suey by system of a down

which was probably the worst thing to wake up to ever

then he'd rush out the door and listen to modest mouse in the mornings in his car

and then be mad all day.

I don't get people.

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