just made myself start choking

February 21, 2013 - 11:14pm - by admin

which sucked.

reached over for my glass of water which it turns out wasn't full at all anymore. but you know when there's nothing left in your glass and you're like

no I can make this work. there's a thirst quenching drop in there dammit.

so you tilt the glass back real far, like your head is facing the ceiling far and this one piddly little drop slooooowly slides down to your mouth and you're like

ome yes my thirst is quenched by that impossible little drop!

well this time I stupidly inhaled while it was rolling down my throat which means I started choking on a single drop like an idiot

so I'm rolling around in my computer chair hacking and coughing and cartwheeling with my arms and thinking

holy hell I'm going to die from choking on this single drop and tyrone is going to come home and find me dead and it's going to ruin our night out

because when you're freaked out you think stupid things.

anyway obviously I didn't choke to death which is good. can you imagine my family telling people that?

"alyson died in a freak water droplet accident"

bet you're glad I spared you that humiliation eh mom and dad?

you're welcome!

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today is Tyrone's birthday

February 20, 2013 - 6:49pm - by admin

someone had this to say after meeting him:

"he was a king wherever he went. He walked like one, he behaved like one, and he was the most masculine man that I have ever met in my life."

okay maybe that was actually about clark gable, but the quote fits.

everyone loves tyrone.

the other day I was talking to @adriantrimble about him and we concluded that tyrone is aloof, but in a good way. like he's obviously got way more important shit to be dealing with than to give anyone his full attention

but when he does you feel like the center of the universe.

which is how he makes me feel all the time. auw.

and even when we know we should hate him for doing stupid things
like being obsessed with being a captain
or being obnoxious
or doing bird calls in restaurants over breakfast
or laughing like burt reynolds
or wearing awful costumes
or being a stick in the mud about rental skates
or planning schemes with chris komus

we don't

we just smile n laugh n maybe cover our mouths
(or our eyes)
(or our ears)

and love him a little more for it.

happy birthday, you ridiculous man.

I love you to the moon and back.

xox

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this is dumb

February 19, 2013 - 8:56pm - by admin

today has been so all over the place I don't even know.

I woke up in the best mood ever because we locked the kitten out of the bedroom so he wouldn't jump on our faces all night which meant I actually got a full-on deep, uninterrupted sleep which hasn't happened in a while. when I rolled over there was wonderful light filtering in through the curtains and I had the whole bed to myself and all the pillows and sheets with our high thread count and smiled. happy.

then I got up and went to the living room to work out to the awesome workout dvd we do and noticed that the kitten had peed on the floor which meant I had to pick him up and show him and make the 'psst!' noise that means he's being a dumb kitten and put him in the litter box. which you'd think would be easy, but no. he's realized he can climb up inside the old couch and also up inside the boards of the box spring in the bedroom so that's two rooms where he hid from me and I had to chase him back and forth and the rads were on so the apartment and I was this sweaty ragelor mess chasing a kitten back and forth.

it was ridiculous I felt like jennifer aniston or something.

anyway finally I get him, show him and go grab a glass of water because I'm parched and come back to finish setting up my yoga mat and I notice he's peed again. wtf, guy?!

so I clean that up and empty out the litter box and rinse it off with soap and etc so it's extra-extra clean and put him in there and he looks at me like

wtf

and runs away. eugh.

anyway my workout was amazing but nobody wants to hear about that so let's skip to the other boring part which is the 2+ hours I spent transcribing this interview for a project I'm going in one of my classes. it's the worst. the first 10mins are okay but eventually you kind of get to a point where your fingers can't keep up with what's being said on the recording and the words start slurring together and it just takes omg forever.

but enough about that.

so now it's 2:56pm and tyrone isn't home till at least 5pm which means I'm free to graze the internet or clean because I'm obsessed with having a clean apartment.

guess which one I'll wind up doing.

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your blog sucks

February 12, 2013 - 4:43pm - by admin

buddy told me the other day over coffee.

you don't write about 'the issues' he said

you don't elaborate on yr political opinions

you don't slam anyone or call people out

you don't badmouth bitches and start blog wars

you don't spill yr guts when you and tyrone have a fight

you don't go on about how you love him to the moon & back

you don't talk about yr mom, yr work, or yr sex life.

your blog sucks.

and I looked at him and said

yeah maybe that's true

but you still read it every day.

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had an interesting conversation

February 11, 2013 - 10:43pm - by admin

while fixing the printer today.

part of my job is performing some basic IT services even though I'm not terribly good at it. I mean yes I can do entry-level, first year of college type maintenance but anything that requires more than the knowledge I acquired while constantly de-virusing my parents computer I make my boss call a technician whose job it actually is to do that sort of stuff.

anyway today apparently there was a problem with the printer. except there wasn't.

but that's not the point in this story.

the point is the person trying to do the printing, I think, is a bit on the crazy side. I've come to this conclusion because she had me check and double-check the stuff she was printing and it was these letters to someone at the CBC about how the Commies are coming into her house at night and stealing her thoughts. her ideas.

she said that they were coming in and putting straws to her ears and sucking them out and she knew because she could hear them talking in her dreams. their voices were magnified into the straw and into her ear, she said.

I didn't ask any questions. just handed her the letters and went back to my regular job. I was actually kinda convincing myself that maybe she was writing some sort of fiction novel, or something like that. it was just so weird.



except just now she came down and wanted to use the photocopier and took out a book with the word 'TRANSFORMATION' on the cover and started making photocopies of the front and back cover. like, six or seven copies each.

since non-office personnel have to pay for photocopies 'round here I casually asked her what she was photocopying and she looked at me over her shoulder and said

I need to mail these to some people

in a voice that I swear would give alfred hitchcock goosebumps.

I think I was wrong about the fiction book-writing. I think she thinks it's for real.

I wonder what that book is about. and who is she sending all those copies to?

and, mostly, I'm kinda sad. because her made-up life is probably way more interesting than mine.

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post-weekend

January 28, 2013 - 11:59pm - by admin

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life's all

January 24, 2013 - 8:15pm - by admin

"I'm gonna stress you out today for no good reason!"

and I'm like

I found this awesome gif while trolling on the Internet

drinking coffee

listening to Chromatics

warm as fck

while it's -40 outside

so you can suck it

bitch.

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okay so we didn't watch solaris

January 16, 2013 - 5:00am - by admin

it's my fault, as are most things. I admit.

I'm working on this huge project of sorts which is sucking up a lot of time now that I'm back in school and tomorrow I'm having a pre-interview coffee with one of the former mayors of the city which I'm a bit freaked out about, honestly.

I'm sure she's super nice and she'll be charming and hilarious and I'll be this weird nervous wreck all hopped-up on coffee because we're meeting at Starbucks and their coffee makes me sick to my stomach, a little bit.

doing work for this project has been eating up a lot of my time but it's going way better than expected and I think my prof is impressed with it, which is always a bonus.

still doesn't make me less nervous to start interviewing people, though.

so basically I put off watching solaris because we needed to clean the apartment, you guys, and I needed to make sure I had all my shit together for these interviews I have coming up for this project. by the time I was done it was like 10:30pm and tyrone was all

we can't watch solaris. we'll fall asleep and jason will yell at us on the internet more for falling asleep during solaris again.

which is probably true.

so we hung out in bed and tyrone fell asleep and I read more of ham on rye which is just, wow, so messed up.

weird thing is that I've been having amazing dreams after reading bukowski. not fucked-up weird things, but these ridiculous adventure dreams where I wake up fully refreshed and ready to take on the world because I just finished kicking ass in my dream.

you know what I mean.

usually in the mornings I tell tyrone what I've been dreaming about because he never remembers his dreams and I feel bad for him. sleeping is one of my favourite things to do, mostly because I have really intense dreams and I feel like he's missing out by not remembering them.

the problem with dreams is that they never make sense. like, ever. so he kinda rolls his eyes or makes a weird face and then leaves the room without saying anything.

I've thought about keeping a dream diary and maybe making a book out of the amalgamation of my stupid dreams and becoming a bazillionaire off the profits. I mean is twilight and 50 shades of grey can be bestsellers why can't my piece of crap novel?

but then I wouldn't have time to blog here because I'd be doing pressers and tours and stuff, so fuck that shit I guess.

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tyrone and I are going to watch solaris tonight

January 14, 2013 - 8:57pm - by admin

which is dumb because this is the third time we've attempted to watch it but we keep getting tired. not because it's a bad movie -it's really good and pretty unsettling- but because we always try to watch it at the wrong time.

the first time was a while back. we'd decided to stay in and have a sexytime saturday night in. we made chicken stuffed somethingorother and pasta from de luca's and wine oh yes, wine.

and we made a picnic on the floor in the living room with pillows and lit only candles and it was really romantic and we had a good time eating dinner.

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no hot water dilemma

December 29, 2012 - 4:23pm - by admin

keep running the water and hope it gets hot

turn off water & try again later

keeping fingers crossed

or

text caretaker about the problem

run the water like he'll tell me to

then

feel like an ass when the water finally gets hot

just like I did last time.

eff.

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