Tagged: random
so I was thinking about this song this morning
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because @stefspeaks has had it stuck in my head for ages now
and I was thinking to myself
Shaggy is a really shitty friend
I mean, either he's a 'frenemy' and deliberately giving black Ben Stiller bad advice
or he's just doesn't care enough to set his friend straight
either way
he doesn't deserve to have a bunch of foxy women hanging around his house
Dear Zach Galifianakis
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which makes me young, I know, but at least I have good taste. at least that's what my friends tell me and wouldn't you trust your friends to be honest with you? mine are my harshest critics & I like it that way, it keeps me honest & open & real & pushing myself.
and I know you know a lot about that, pushing yourself, I mean because it's pretty rare that people just BAM explode onto the scene and I'm sure you tried for a while before becoming a hotshot comedian and big Hollywood movie star, too, and though I don't want to be in Hollywood I do want to do something with myself, too.
Wikipedia says that you used to be "underground" and now I guess that means you're "mainstream" and I wonder what you think about that? Does all the money, booze, drugs and sexy ladies looking to fondle your junk make it worth it or do you feel bad because you can't be a hipster comedian anymore?
was this what you always wanted, Zach?
maybe it is since I guess it's what a lot of people want, or think they want, but now you're a big star and we'll never be friends because why be Internet Friends with some peon like me? I don't even have my own web show on FunnyorDie let alone be some sort of bigshot famous person like you, so what shot do I have of having a cool underground-to-mainstream friend.
zilch.
but if you ever read this, give me a shout at alysondotshaneatgmaildotcom because I think you're cool & funny and basically it would make everyone I know super jealous and I would go to all of your movies forever, even if they made a Hangover 3 I would just get wasted and go and sit through it because we're friends, god damn it, Zach Galifianakis.
and that's just what friends do for each other.
Dear lady
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your paper isn't here
I told you that when you came in
when you asked if I had it, and I said I didn't
when you asked if someone had taken it, and I said nobody had
and no matter how many times you call and ask
"is it there yet?"
"is it there NOW?"
and inform me that "it's usually at the front desk"
that doesn't mean it is.
(not) sorry.
waiting for my lunch at Stella's
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and the girl at the next table is talking (loudly) to her friend and is talking about how her boyfriend -who she lives with- asked her to cut back on the barhopping because he can't keep covering her for rent and she turned around and said "I don't see why I have to give up my partying just so he can get his stupid degree".in the fifteen minutes I've been here (food just arrived) she's bitched about her boyfriend, a coworker, a coworkers husband, a 'friend', her boyfriend and their house and their tv and it's like this big nonstop slew of negativity and it's so toxic.
Tyrone, I love you, thanks for not being a big barstar and paying the rent on time.
he is also home sick today, which I would gladly trade for sitting near this girl.
apparently she is going to break up with her boyfriend and 'find someone better'.
Some Friday advice for you
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it's true.
Fantastic Friday. Spent all morning teaching which is so fun and rewarding and surprisingly hard! I can't wait to do it more. had a mega-healthy spinach salad I brought from home & watched clips of my crush Stephen Colbert over lunch. it's chilly and sunny and just like I like my Octobers to be.
I'm jetting out of here shortly to get prepped for the Zombie Walk tonight, are you going? It's going to be an insane time, we're going to party like we're in North Korea.
recently I've been trimming
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my FaceBook friends list.there's just so much crap on there that I don't care about. I don't care about those stupid 'viral pictures' or whatever that are going around. I don't care to have the same party pushed on me by two dozen people. I don't care about Justin Beiber.
recently I was on Tyrone's laptop and was looking at his feed without realizing it was his (since most of our friends are the same) and I was struck by how much irrelevant, whiny, trolling posts there were before realizing that I wasn't logged into my own profile and I was just seeing the fat I'd trimmed away from my proverbial FaceBook lean.
I try to make it a habit to not bitch about stuff that annoys me, or stuff that I hate, on FaceBook. it seems to be a cesspool for idiocy and let's face it: haters gonna hate. there's always going to be something pissing someone off no matter what time it is or what day of the week it happens to be, and though I generally try not to clutter up my FaceBook feed with rants about crap that I hate I present to you here a list of all the things that I hate that I don't deign important enough to clutter up other social media channels.
Car commercials, sports bars where the girls dress up like slutty referees, Glee, 3D, Jane Lynch, newer Tim Burton movies, autostereograms, Republicans, Libertarians, reality tv, infotainment, Alice in Chains, Justin Beiber, homophobes, Stephen Harper, blues music, Willem Dafoe's face, Fox News, people who hate Apple products (idiots), most stand-up comedians, gameshow music, the circus, clowns, smelly children, most children, Dora the Explorer, TreeHouse TV, Kim Kardashian, people who care about Hollywood marriages, girls who look down on me because I don't go to Whiskey Dixx on a Friday/Saturday night, The Harper Government, Steve Buscemi, meat loaf (the food not the singer), T-Pain, polls, platform shoes, kandi kids, The Situation, the war on terror, puns, (most) movie remakes, people who have fake FaceBook names, punk rock, clothes with spikes on them and/or black jean clothing, the word 'pasture', spiders, scary-long fake nails, white pants, inflation, LiveJournal, weeaboos, Habbo Hotel, Chinese knockoffs, Westboro Baptist Church, ragecomics, people who don't get memes but insist on making them, squat toilets, GW Bush, people who obsess over World of Warcraft, The Blue Waffle, Gilbert Godfrey, all Disney sequels except Return of Jafar, vampires, Twilight, werewolves, people who pick their noses in public, Jennifer Aniston, duckface, Nicholas Cage, and Taco Bell, people who don't 'get' social media, people who wear too-tight pants, Colonel Sanders and Adam Sandler comedies.
oh there's lots more but, I've got work.
just realized I didn't blog today
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guess that's the downfall of working on projects all day and then meeting up with some sweet tweeps in the evening.
@cdnbeer was in town so we met up with him for a while and after having a few Half Pints Tyrone and I are back at home and I learned a few things today:
- I look like Lisa Loeb (I don't)
- shorts and tights are warm as long as you wear a wool sweater
- white nail polish doesn't look as trashy as I thought it would
- hugs from @nicolerudge are awesome (I got four!)
and now it's time to order pizza and drink imported beers and watch movies so happy Friday to you all.
dude on a bike asked me for money today
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I was sitting at the bus stop going to class and he rode by me and asked as he rode past "do you have any change??"and I realized that I've been in a lot of weird situations that involved someone asking me for money and on the bus on the way to class I made a list of the weird ways in which I've been asked to give someone change and here they are
- by two guys who tried to get me to drink out of the bottle of straight whiskey they were sharing which I declined to do
- by a woman in a clown suit (I didn't ask)
- by a woman who was so drunk she fell head-first over the waist-high railing of the patio I was sitting on (she was okay)
- through the window at a coffee shop
- by a little kid who yelled "can I have a dollar?" at Tyrone and I as we rode past on our bikes
- on the bus and then he sat next to me for the entire 20-minute bus ride asking for change from everyone around me
- in the waiting room of a walk-in clinic once when I was sick
in other news I'm dressed like a big hipster today and this is what I look like
