August 2011

dial-up sounds and Neopets

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are basically what I remember from when I first began really using The Internet.

my parents got us a family computer when I was in the 6th grade and in true parent style it was a hunk of junk and something that my friends who knew me then still make fun of me for. guys I dated in highschool either spent their time fighting with me, on the phone with me troubleshooting my computer, and sitting in my parent's basement trying to remove all the malware and trojans and misc viruses my brothers got from looking at pr0n irresponsibly (c'mon, I've never gotten one virus from that, once).

oh and deviantart too, I think. oh no, it was elfwood. wow, just checked out that site and it's basically pictures of faeries and Middle Earth and stuff, don't even click there it's embarrassing I even went there. but aren't most sites we visited when we were younger embarrassing?

case in point: I just showed Tyrone a picture of the Neopets site (I think) when I used to use it, in grade 8. it was freaking huge I tell you, we had to fight each other for computers to use at lunch so we could collect fake money and play stupid games like a Neopets version of Snake (which I was very, very good at).

can you believe I played something that looked like this? that the guys in my class played it, too??



what was wrong with us.

oh yeah, we were stupid kids.

in highschool things got marginally better. My friend Eric (remember him?) introduced me to ebaumsworld, boingboing and penny-arcade
(remember when they got sued by American Greetings for that Strawberry Shortcake parody?)
among other things. finally I was learning how to use that vast interconnected series of tubes -and I hadn't even discovered online pr0n yet!

and with that came the days of Xanga, LiveJournal and DeadJournal (who had one of those?) blogging! everyone had one! back before we knew how to insert photos or do anything but complain about that bitch you saw while your mom was picking you up from the mall with your friends after you blew all your money (15$) at Sirens (if you were a sloot) or Frenzee (if you went to raves like I did)

yes I went to raves, but that was back before they got disgusting and sketchy and places I now generally avoid, so, not really not really since highschool in case you were wondering, and no I never looked like this:


because kandi is stupid)

and now I've totally lost my train of thought about the years of Internet Antiquity for me because I got lost looking up pictures of people I knew partying way back in the day, how did I even get in to those parties? oh right I knew people. who doesn't 'know people' though? Everyone knows someone, that doesn't make us special.

but I was 16 and thought I was. though didn't we all.
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I'm trying to write today, but I can't

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I spent all day in a sick-coma. slept till noon, woke up, made an insane sandwich which I forgot to take a picture of before inhaling in with my sickness-empty stomach. here is what was in it:

2-egg omelette folded over some pieces of cheddar and mozzarella
sliced red onion
lettuce
sliced vine tomato
mayonaise
mustard
pepper
on whole-grain bread

now I want to eat again.

ps how badly do you want to see this movie? I do x1,000,000

just now I put my tongue piercing back in

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I took it out yesterday because I'd irritated it while drinking wine in the park and watching Top Gun because when I drink I tend to mess with it. so today when I went to put it back in the bottom of my tongue had started to heal over and I had to actually break through the skin a bit and it was simultaneously disgusting, and awesome.

I have tea cooling here to help soothe my sore throat but I'm a bit scared to drink it now because I don't want to burn myself. ps have you ever felt a drink go through the piercing inside your tongue? so weird.

gross stuff like that is reason #156 why you read this blog.

today I am home sick.

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some crazy stuff happened this weekend that meant instead of resting up I was awake until nearly 4am Saturday night and stressed out all yesterday which I guess compounded onto not feeling great last week left me in this state. awful.

so here I am hopped-up on Buckley's and waiting for Tyrone to get home and make me soup. I'm not sure which movie I will make him watch with me just yet but I think it might be this one:



if you look up the names of the actors in it and say them out loud it's like you're a record playing backwards or throwing up in your mouth, kind of. Icelandic is weird.

Hip Hop Sunday #13 - Notorious B.I.G. - Hypnotize

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so today is kind of weird

but it's still Hip Hop Sunday

so enjoy it.

xo

Gail Asper has a message for you

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she's the President of the CanWest Global Foundation and President and Trustee of The Asper Foundation

she has the flow of Colin Mochrie

and she wants you to get yr Manitoban asses in gear and go vote.

all the while proving that the only middle-ages white people who should be rapping

are The Beastie Boys.

aujourd'hui je vais vous parler en français

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un petit peu.

est-ce-que tu savais que je peuvent parler le français? c'est malheureux mais par-ce que tous mes amies sont des anglophones je ne peut pas pratiquer ma deuxiemme langue très souvent.

peut-être c'est pour cette raison que j'aime la musique français. comme ça:

that was actually embarrassingly hard, wow.

in case you can't speak French, basically what I said was just that I speak French but don't get to practice it often because most of my friends are anglophones and the ones who speak french don't just speak it for fun. honestly the grammar was the hardest part, after a while you forget where all the accents and stuff go. whew.

in other news because I hurt my knees running we didn't go for a bike adventure and watched an episode of this on Netflix.

Jim Henson forevs.

something scary just happened

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which was that I was playing Limbo, which I may have blogged about before (probably) and is this platformer for XBoxLive that is super creepy and off-putting which of course makes it very, very good. Basically it's all shadows and light, no dialogue but for sound effects and some subtle music you don't realize is playing until you notice your skin crawling.

it looks like this:



and there isn't a restart or a save or anything, it's all trial and error and the only way to know if you've made a mistake is if you die. which you do. often. and in a really gory fashion, usually.

anyway so I'm playing along and there are several instances where you have to fight this giant spider by breaking its legs in bear traps or knocking it into a spiky pit or pulling its legs off and rolling it into a hole. after beating this spider I get up to go pee and when I come back this is what's on the couch:



yes that's A SPIDER

it looks teeny because I took the photo from far away because there is zero chance that I am going near a spider so I took it at arms length while Tyrone went and got some paper towel to kill it with.

he didn't catch it right away and it proceeded to crawl over part of the couch and if that wasn't scary enough the place where it was hiding was right behind my head.

so now we have switched spots on the couch and Tyrone is playing Limbo instead while I blog because I've had enough scary spiders for tonight, thank you.

kids do stupid things

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like put squares of gross processed ham over their faces and eat it off their face and talk about it.

did you ever eat that kind of ham? it came in those plastic packages and they were always really moist (hate that word) and slimy. where did my mom get them from, even? are they actually real ham?

anyway.

sometimes I wish I could go back to being a little kid so I could enjoy all the things that I was too busy being a stupid kid to appreciate. like not having to pay rent, buy and prep my own meals, pay tuition, etc. I decided to strik out on my own early, and I wish I'd spent more time mooching off my parents before I decided to be a big girl and move out on my own and have responsibilities and stuff.

the moral of the story is, school starts back up in two weeks and I'm stressed about it as per usual. I'd much rather be 6 years old sitting on the couch in my parents living room watching reruns of Arthur and eating ham off my face.

okay maybe not the ham, that's still disgusting. so gross!

I wish this was for realsies

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I'd kill to see a Portal movie, wouldn't you?




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