Tagged: audio
#ThrowbackThursday: Little Red Corvette
- by admin
This picture is a re-creation of what I look like now, at 11:23am on Friday December 18th, 2009.There is a small piece of loose skin in my left nostril that is driving me crazy and I have been sitting at my desk rubbing various snot-drenched pieces of tissue around up there trying to dislodge it.
…
I just spent five minutes blankly staring at the Excel spreadsheet I’m working on and attempting to pick my nose through the tissue, but my nails aren’t long enough to be effective.
It really hurts and is itchy and makes a weird whistling noise when I exhale.
I really want to pick my nose.
Ty said to me the other day
“people’s noses were meant for picking, that’s why our fingers fit up there”
and
“if people didn’t pick their noses we probably would have evolved out of needing nostrils this size by now”
and we were drunk at the time, but it actually makes some sense.
**Originally posted in 2009
Dating was the worst
- by admin
Before getting "into a relationship" Tyrone I was single for a few years while I figured my shit out(still working on that)
and even though I didn't really want to start going on dates with anyone I figured I should probably go on a few to keep myself 'in the game' and not be the weird spinster friend who hates on happy couples because they're so lonely, waah.
Not me!
Sometimes they worked out for a little while and cute boys would play Monkey Island and drink beers with me or we'd watch Brazil on laserdisc and listen to vinyl.
But not usually.
After talking to my lady-friends I've confirmed that dates usually go like this:
Pretending to like someone and playing nice over dinner or in a dark theatre or mini golf and the whole time thinking
helphelphelphelp
to nobody except yourself which is stupid because you got yourself into this situation, dummy.
You should have just said 'no thank you' to start but instead you said yes because you're lonely or desperate or maybe both
(likely both)
and dating some idiot is better than being single, right?
(it isn't)
Which inevitably leads to that awkward situation a few dates/weeks in where you wake up and realize
you're a douchecanoe and I don't want your penis near me anymore
at which time you stop texting back and suddenly get "really busy" instead of being up-front like an adult.
(There's also that one time I slammed a guy's car door in his face and ran into my house away from him, but that's another story)
Up until now I'd always assumed that this female tactic was just called "being a bitch" or "wussing out" but today I learned a much more appropriate title:
"The Fadeaway"
I have a problem caused by the internet
- by admin
Well okay maybe it isn't caused by the internet per-se but rather my obsession with it.
I want to sit down and game out super hard n nerdy like I used to and not on Xbox games but on my iMac. I bought a sweet Humble Bundle off Steam last night that had Dear Esther and Hotline Miami and a bunch of other rando stuff that I haven't tried yet and I haven't touched it, like, at all.
Not even once.
Because every time I sit down at my stupid computer and maximize the screen to play a game I get filled with this overwhelming horror like
what is something is happening on the internet without me?!
and I minimize the screen and OCD check my Twitter and Facebook feeds and even though there's usually something new it wasn't worth minimizing the window I was using and pulling myself out of what I was trying to do so I could see that someone 'liked' my stupid post.
Back when I was a kid I had this game called Realms of the Haunting which was a totally badass fucking game.
It was like 6 CD's long and really poor quality and I would hole up in my parents basement with a blanket (it was cold and I have poor circulation) playing the shit out of this game for hours on end.
I didn't care about the internet or what other people were doing on it because I was getting to kill demons with my magic sword, or whatever.
But now I'm an adult and I don't game as much as I used to.
Now I have a boyfriend and a job and a blog and friends and adventures and sex and and an internet empire to build. So that's cool.
But I miss those days of unhindered gaming so bad sometimes.
Life was simpler then.
Slept in super late today
- by admin
because I have the day off because I'm still rocking a fierce summer head-cold and my boss was all "your sniffling is gross please stay home for a day" which I did and as a result I cuddled the cats and slept will 11am. That equals over 14hrs of sleep since I dozed off halfway though that episode of Parks and Rec I was watching with Tyrone. Cray!Even though I'm sick I had to keep my dentist appointment to get my chipped tooth fixed. It happened a few weeks ago while I was eating a taco from Modern Taco. My tooth felt kinda weird and I went to the bathroom and was like "well fuck" and since then it's been bothering me like hell but honestly? I'm busy and it took longer to look after than I'd planned.
I knew it was finally time when I mentioned making the appointment to Tyrone and he said
"I was wondering when you were going to do something about that"
which hurt my feelings a little bit. But whatever.
I go to this amazing dentist who doesn't fuck around. I'd tell you who but I don't want everyone going there and cramping my style, because he's always on time and is the fastest dentist I've ever been to. My chipped tooth was fixed in less than ten minutes and he ran off to see a million more patients that day.
Oh and did I mention that he billed my insurance company 100% of the cost so it was free? Oh yeah.
I made Tyrone come meet me for lunch and then drive me home, which was my plot all along because baby it's hot out and the busses were slow because there's construction everywhere and I'm sick goddammit and didn't want to deal with that nonsense.
Since then I've napped on the couch and watched 1/2 of The Hunger Games.
It's hard being productive when yr sick.
Ty went outta town this past weekend
- by admin
so I put on a maxi dress and made cray salad and took photos with this beaut.
We had a BBQ and lots of mixed boozy drinks at Owen & D's.
It didn't rain like it was supposed to so we sat in their backyard getting bit by mosquitoes.
who I can only assume were attracted to my pretty blue dress
which I later passed out in on a bed in the basement
which I assume is set up specifically for that purpose
or so our hosts can bone & watch TV at the same time.
I don't wanna know which.
Anyway I had the weirdest dreams which is unusual
not because I don't usually have weird dreams, which I do
but because usually when yr girl drinks there are no dreams
of weird horses and shoes and pinball machines
just dark, dreamless sleep
and greasy food when I wake up.
Which there was, come to think of it.
It's good to have constants in one's life, I think.
I dreamt about you nearly every night this week
- by admin
New Arctic Monkeys.
Happy Wednesday to all.
Sometimes you just gotta do it right
- by admin
and by that I mean bike yr ass to almost the suburbs to try Blondie's, which is this infamous burger joint in Winnipeg. It's also been featured on You Gotta Eat Here which is how some non-prairie peeps know about it.I'd never been there myself but I'd always heard stories about the crazy lady who runs it. It's just her in the kitchen by herself and apparently she'll scream at you and kick you out if yr a dick or you pisser off which both terrified and intrigued the shit outta me.
Luckily she has her rules posted all around the joint so you know what not to do.
The most famous(est) part of going to Blondie's besides the lady who runs it is the sheer massive size of the burgers they offer. I stayed safe with the 1/8 pound burger and even that was almost too much with a poutine.
I wish I could go back and eat this right now.
They also offer huge milkshakes which were a little too rich for my blood.
Yes that's also a pun about ice cream.
When we got there it was super packed so we had to wait a while, and as we were leaving the owner apologized to us for making us wait which kinda disappointed me since I was hoping she'd tell us to fuck off or something.
I briefly considered saying something rude back to see what would happen but then I saw her kneading this massive pile of hamburger patty in the air I decided I'd better not.
That lady could have totally kicked my ass.
The only problem with Aband*nthecar's show last night
- by admin
was that not enough people saw it.
This was due to some really bad scheduling on the part of Stylus Magazine, who hosted the show at the Rose n Bee last night where there were two kickass acts and one wtf in between.
Usually I don't go around slamming local musicians. Yr grl can't read music, sing, or play an instrument to save 'er life but I know tone-deaf when I hear it and the second act (who shall remain nameless) was tone-deaf.
The first band, Hana Lu Lu, were amazing. Check 'em out if you're in prairietown and like new wave and fog machines and lead singers with long hair who are kinda smarmy.
They played a really good set and their music was top-notch, so when dude got on stage with a guitar and an amp got on stage we were all
"alright let's do this. rock our socks guy"
except he kinda totally did the exact opposite.
I won't rag on him too much but it was bad news. He kept losing track of where he was in his songs, was tone-deaf, and for his last "song" did an a cappella terrible karaoke-style version of Like A Prayer complete with ad-libbed hoarse-screamed ad-libbed versions of the lyrics about how he didn't know why he was still singing.
Protip: neither did we.
By the time he was done the bar was basically cleared which was sad because Aband*nthecar's set was so sweet and lovely and even though we were out way too late it was worth it.
Needless to say I'm unimpressed with how the Stylus people handled the show. The minute they realized the guy was bombing they should have pulled him offstage, because they did a real disservice to a musician who clearly took the show seriously.
So for those of you that didn't get to, you can hear the stylings of Aband*nthecar here, and in the video below:
I still wanna see The Great Gatsby
- by admin
Even though it's not doing super hot in theaters and it's only got a 51% rating on rotten tomatoes.
I can't help it, I think it's because Leonardo DiCaprio is in it.
Scratch that. I know it's Leonardo DiCaprio is in it.
A few weeks ago the cat was bugging me at like 4am and I couldn't get back to sleep. So since it was Saturday I decided to go hang on the couch and see if I was going to fall back to sleep eventually, or what, and wound up watching Titanic, which I haven't seen in a few yrs.
It was actually better than my youthful self remembers. Though that might be because I could pause it and go pee halfway through without having to push past an aisle full of peeps just trying to enjoy the movie, dammit.
Anyway.
Leo was great in it. I always forget what an amazing actor he is until I'm watching one of his movies. Then I'm all
"holy shit, he's handsome and talented"
which is why I want to see Gatsby, even though from what I know there isn't any nudity à la Kate Winslet's fabulous boobs like in Titanic.
But I can deal. Plus Carey Mulligan is pretty effin cute.
The thing that puzzles me still is this:
Why did people expect the movie to be so great?
It's a mediocre movie based on a mediocre book
except the movie has a zebra in a fountain.
